The First part of this article concerns good people captaining for sucky and mediocre players, and unit distribution. If you are a sucky player, please skip to part II which will detail what YOU should do to myth good.

My roomate just wrote a paper on how there is a certain time and place for jokes. He also included the idea that if the person telling the jokes is making racial stereotypes and is not of that race, for instance "Black people are criminals who like fried chicken and crack" is a white person, a black audience would find it offensive, rather than funny. If that same comment came from a black commedian, it would suddenly be hilarious.

Thus, the hilarity of the coming statement may be lessoned for most of you, as I am not a member of the group I am stereotyping and making fun of. However, rest assured that even if you are offended by it, its hilarity remains unhindered for the rest of us.

Alot of people suck. Especially people from TFS, IX, and Marmotos Assassins.



You can pretty much trust anybody in any of those orders to suck in every given game. As it is against the rules to simply not give them units, and very much frowned upon, a way of dealing with how much to give them must be thought up. Currently there is no set standerd to give them, and so often times a good player is randomly assigned ot captain, but they have the unfortunate downside of being a genuinly nice person and lacking an enormous ego. For this example, lets use gekko np.



Well, lets say the Myth engine assigns gekko to be a captain of a team of "sucky players"



and one or two "good players"



In a big game of say, 7v7 Desert. Now, lets say the other team is comprised of players who have gotten slightly better than "sucky" but not quite to "mediocre."



If Gekko were to assign himself, will, and tb all the units, it would be an easy win for them. One flank each, no problem at all. However, Gekko, being a nice person, feels inclined to give said sucky players "units." This is a bad idea, and should be steered clear of. Myth is dying, and trying to make said sucky players into said sub-mediocre players is no good. However, in the assumption that this is a good idea, I'll carry on.

Rather than Gekko splitting each flank between a good player and said sucky players, or giving each good player a flank to split with said sucky players, Gekko should use the "grim standerds" in order to determine how many units the sucky players get.

What is the grim standerd of coolness, I'm sure your asking yourself if you're still reading. Well, grim never quantified it, it is important to do so, as well as assign a given % of the units to a player based on their score.

As you can see from "the art of myth cool" (http://mwc06.com/article.php?id=4), There are many factors that influence somebodies "myth cool." Here is a comprehensive list of the factors, as well as their given values.

1: Be Passive Agressive
2: Do not say "gg" or "nice match"
3: Remain Agressivly Passive
4: Do not speak in caps unless you are of LOA
5: Do not use non-:( :) (: ): smiley faces.
6: Do not show any signs you care to much
7: Take max puss on a light map if you are a n00b,
8: If you don't know what puss is, return myth to store.
9: Take maximum artillery on light maps
10: Dont take maximum artillery on dark maps
11: Don't take anything other than a giant, 6 myrks, and 12 zerks on raid
12: Doubling if there is a third teams unit on the map
13: Don't ever take brigades
14: If you are the team captain, always yell at your team
15: If you win a flank always tell your opponent that you beat them
16: Don't take non 3 prong strats.
17: Saying "raid is reg" is bad
18: Using ascii letters makes you a n00b

Some of these obviously don't apply when the sucky player isn't the cap. However, every one of these gets one point if performed properly, with a few getting an extra credit point if performed properly.

1: 0-1, extra credit point if performed well
2: 0-1
3: 0-1, extra credit point if performed well
4: 0-1
5: 0-1, extra credit point if performed well
6: 0-1, extra credit point if performed well
7: 0-1, do not include unless basing on past experiance
8: 0-1
9: 0-1, do not include unless basing on past experiance
10: 0-1, do not include unless basing on past experiance
11: 0-1, do not include unless basing on past experiance
12: 0-1, do not include unless basing on past experiance
13: 0-1, do not include unless basing on past experiance
14: 0-1, do not include unless basing on past experiance
15: 0-1
16: 0-1 do not include unless basing on past experiance
17: 0-1
18: 0-1

In this situation we will give the sucky players the benefit of the doubt and assume there are no prior experiances with them. Gekko add's up all the points, and gives the sucky player at least 1/3 the number of their total points in %. Thus, if a given sucky player does exceptionally well they may get 18 points, and thus should be assigned a minimum of 6%.

This way, it is acceptable to assign players a given number of units without having to worry about being stingy. Further, the higher a person stands on this criteria, the more likely hilarity will ensue if they fuck up, which further makes it less poopy to give them units. This way, you can avoid giving sucky player lots of units and getting into one of these situtuations



Now get off the game "Myth II: Soulblighter" and get on the new bandwagon. Get yourself one of these:



you can use it to walk around and stuff. If you're rich you can even get two!