LoA played well, had strategies and communicated. This is what all good teams that win do. e.i. simply didn't play well. I wouldn't say they self-destructed, the way MY team usually does when things go bad. However, their subpar performance along with some bad luck cost them the match.

MVP of this game is Captain "d(ascii ascii)WAR(ascii ascii)f". He played very well and captained his team to victory. Good job

Game One - [CTF] [Caer]


LoA Starts NW and e.i. SE. Captain "d(ascii ascii)WAR(ascii ascii)f" and Captain Col. Kurtz trade for a decent mix of melee and arty plus the dreaded "pus". A tad of confusion ensues as LoA has a "unit and side" mixup but they work through it.

Both teams employ the "triple dong" (see Hitlow's articl from the first week if you are unclear what a "triple dong" is). e.i's middle is a bit larger than LoA's while LoA's flanks are (SURPRISE) larger than e.i's. As e.i. advances in the middle, the two teams exchange a volley of flame arrows. Captain "d(ascii ascii)WAR(ascii ascii)f" makes a nice move with his pus killing a couple of e.i. archers. In the second thrust, e.i's pus gets bombed by Captain "d(ascii ascii)WAR(ascii ascii)f" dork. This causes a "shit" trifecta from the e.i. team.

Meanwhile, LoA units are converging on e.i's home flag. Both teams contest with a single unit pretty much simultaneously but things do not look good for e.i. LB arrives in time to drive off an attack on the flag, however another LoA force is arriving from the west. Willis encourages "RAPE" as LB attempts to defend his flag. e.i sends their mid to their home flag. e.i. manages to fend off the LoA flank but some fancy archer work by Strike manages to salvage the LoA ploy.

Captain "d(ascii ascii)WAR(ascii ascii)f" does something I missed that causes the entire team to say "GJ Captain "d(ascii ascii)WAR(ascii ascii)f""...gj. LoA's forces move in and wipe out LB's war-hardened but depleted force as the e.i. flag becomes a weenie roast

Game Two - [CTF] [Caer]

A switch of sides and captains from Col. Kurtz to Voodoo and the arrival of Darkstalker are the only roster changes for either team in this match. Captain Voo gets max pus and fewer archers. LB offers an important safety tip "guys don't rush into shit just wait for them" that, let's face it, should be immortalized alongside "don't run with scissors". LoA goes for a similar trade as last game with perhaps a dork or two more. Both captains keep a lion's share of the units for themselves.

Game on and the triple dong begins. LoA discovers e.i. has more pus than them and suspects a rush. e.i's middle archers run into a bit of pus turning their middle attack force into a delaying force. e.i suffers further misfortune north when their pus ghol is shot, drops his "load" and said "load" explodes covering all with "goo". LoA attempts to kill the now-dead doggy's brother, but with a vengeance he recovers from his "goo-dream" and "goos" a couple LoA archers. e.i.'s south makes a powerful thrust through LoA's defense only to be thwarted by "d(ascii ascii)WAR(ascii ascii)f"'s dork. Captain "d(ascii ascii)WAR(ascii ascii)f" continues to make a nice stand at LoA's home flag, defeating Ashen's remaining force. Thigns are looking grim for e.i. as they are down 15% and facing LoA's army.

Eventually its LoA's dork and few wars against e.i's thrall...voo makes as fancy as moves as one can but it is all in vain and LoA takes the flag

Game Three - [FR] [Lichen]

The captains remain the same for the two teams. LoA starts NE and e.i. SW. FRANCHISE comes in for e.i. in place of (or mb he is) Col. Kurtz. The LoA lineup is unchanged. LoA gets no thrall and heavy missile/arty combo. e.i. trades, well, not much. Their setup is very similar to default units with a couple dorks and 4 pussers. Again, it looks as if we are seeing the "triple dong" from both teams. As if to illustrate the point, e.i. draws that "classic" strat on the overhead map.

Game on and both teams move out smartly; the starting "single dong" splits into our beloved "triple dong". LB goes "a' dodgin'" up to LoA's temple but is quickly turned back by LoA who have combined to make an extremely large middle "dong". e.i's middle "dong" is also quite protruberent but they are out missiled. The ensuing middle fight leaves LoA up by roughly 15% LoA finally picks off all e.i's missile units and in a flag grabbing attempt, e.i. declares "rush" on LoA.

Meanwhile, LoA pesters e.i's temple as e.i. discusses whether or not the strategy was sound. Again, I defer to LB for his analysis: "getting surrounded mid isn't a 'good strat'". The rest of the game is simply LoA mopping up a disenchanted e.i. team

Game Four - [FR] [Lichen]

Same lineup but Voodoo trades in is captain's hat to LB. Voodoo tries to encourage his team saying, "we need a post-excuse and FAST!" The starting positions are swapped but this time, new captain LB trades for pretty much the same thing as LoA. One of LoA's guys lags out but the game continues on.

e.i's heavy north force looks to have a good chance of taking LoA's temple flag. LoA plays very nicely and keeps them off of temple flag. Their defense of the temple flag was really quite good.

In the south, LB trades arrows with Flash and Willis on the grassy knoll. At the 5 minute mark, both teams have 3 flags (with e.i. tagging first) and percentages are both around 40%. LB and bloo eventually get out-missiled and have to retreat to their temple. LoA quickly goes up 41% to 17% in units and follows LB and bloo. Bloo peppers the LoA dorks with arrows but e.i. is simply overpowered at the temple. LoA takes the flag quickly and moves on to capture the rest. LoA defeats e.i's thrall and goes up 4 - 0 for the match

Game Five - [Assassin] [Trow]

The lineups remain the same for this final game. Both teams trade for THE SAME THING! LOL!

LoA starts west and e.i. east. LB decides that now is time for the "SINGLE DONG" a.k.a. "mid rush".e.i. heartily agrees but wonders where to hide peasants. At this point, the quote of the match is uttered by Broken Cow when he says:

"hide peasants not north"

LoA, predicts e.i. will now rush...foreboding. LoA splits into three dongs. Flash X now gets mentioned in the review.

If you listen to this game, it sounds quite exciting. Wights going off, locks dying, mortars firing...its realy an audio Korean Barbeque. At one point, e.i. gets 3 of LoA's peasants but then loses nearly all its souls to a lock. As they're up, e.i. decides to camp it out. Unfortunately, they are left with half the units that LoA have. On the up side, an e.i. player mentions "lag" and "FRANCHISE" delights in a gift excuse for later. The LoA hordes press forward to e.i's peasant hill in the NE. Strike dispatches LB's souls on the hill and then picks off the e.i's peasants. To make matters worse, LoA's lock arrives to soak up e.i's peasants like Wonder bread soaks up gravy. After making "all gone", LoA wins the match 5 - 0.