 | Ok folks, first I need to give credit where it's due. TNO spent alot of time compiling and sorting all of these quotes. So, although I know he'd hate me for sharing this with you all, he still deserves credit for not letting all these quotes disappear. Then, second, I want to give credit to all the freaks that made these quotes funny. In particular Sam Stone for running SSHL for so many years. Oh, and if you don't know what all this is about, you aren't MYTHCOOL. =( WARNING: EXTREMELY EXPLICIT LANGUAGE Sam Stone: Blade walk into your parents bedroom totally naked and covered in wesson oil and weilding a knife. Scream at the top of your lungs "YOU JUST STAY RIGHT IN THE FUCKING BED OR I'LL CUT IT~!!!!" then grab your man hammer in a death grip in shake it at your mom. Whatever she says next, make a quick downward stab while screaming but don't stab yourself in the penis for real. Then shuffle over to mom and say "Just kidding mom, happy easter!" and walk back to your room Sam Stone: Bush needs to implement my way of teaching gun control LimpBizkit: good :( LimpBizkit: what way? Sam Stone: Stand up in front of the crowd and say "Be careful with guns or this will happen to you", then shoot yourself in the hand and scream. Then take the padding off your hand and say "Ha ha, just a joke! But it got my point across!" Then shoot anyone who laughs Sam Stone: do you have to be 18 to get on jeopardy? cause i wouldn't want to be on one of those faggot ass JEOPARDY TEEN SPECIAL things where all the questions are like "This is the color of the sky on a clear day" and the morons buzz in and go "uhhh WHAT IS GRAPE" TNO: I think blade would rule on Jeopardy Sam Stone: i have to go to the bathroom TNO: do it in your chair, BITCH Sam Stone: that was the original plan TNO: have you been cathaterized? Sam Stone: no, why bother, it keeps me warm TNO: you don't like the feel of plastic up your urethra? Sam Stone: i didn't say that necessarily Sam Stone: girls with huge nips sing better Sam Stone: heh good god Sam Stone: there's like an apocalyptic storm warning here right now :( nate | pc: :( Sam Stone: winds up to 80 miles an hour :(! I SHOULD SEEK SHELTER IN A STURDY, BELOW-GROUND BUILDING! nate | pc: mb put on a windbreaker? Sam Stone: this is also a possibility! nate | pc: :O Sam Stone: :( nate | pc: :( Sam Stone: SI SENOR nate | pc: maybe it will rain penthouse playmates Sam Stone: :) Sam Stone: i don't care to comment Sam Stone: i've never jacked off, ever Ronin: AP US history is such a bitch class TNO: that's not a denial Sam Stone: NEVER ONCE Ronin: I dont give a shit about the fucking Farmers movement Sam Stone: i want eric lindros to lick me Sam Stone: all over my soft, white body Sam Stone: i somehow managed to get like identical painful cuts on the insides of both my ears, in the same place in both ear. maybe it's like some mutated form of the stigmata! HAVE I BEEN SENT FROM HEAVEN??? wait afk a sec i think i see a penny lucky side up Sam Stone: oh my god I'm losing my mind because this lil guy in my head keeps going HI SAM HOW BOUT YOU LIGHT SOME MORE STUFF ON FIRE and then this other voice says NO DON'T DO IT BECOME A SOCIAL WORKER INSTEAD but the first voice keeps going LOL YEAH RIGHT BURN THE MOTHERFUCKERS and the second voice goes DON'T DO IT YOU SHOULD HELP THE HOMELESS and the first voice says again FUCK THE HOMELESS CUT THOSE SONS OF BITCHES TO GET OFF Sam Stone: but enough about me *** Sam Stone slides his DICK into Mike's DICK Mike: plz dunt do tat agane Mike: dik cex hurtz mi :( Sam Stone: k :( Sam Stone: yah :( Sam Stone: im sori :( Mike: k thx Sam Stone: <---insensativ faygot Mike: mb Sam Stone: shaitan no one really gives a shit about you getting drunk alone by yourself and therefore you don't need to keep us up to speed on your alcoholism that you think makes you cool lol guys remember when i used to be on here drunk all the time though, that was funny, it was funny when i did it though, when shaitan does it it's just obnoxious nerd posturing since it's a fag Shaitan: :) Sam Stone: red, I'm taking LimpBizquik off the ci roster Jedi Val: I rule! =) Sam Stone: so don't bother with his TA for us Aginor: whyz0r sam? Sam Stone: because he decided he'd rather play for ei Aginor: ok Sam Stone: since that's where his ass buddy sd is Aginor: I suppose sd is over there Aginor: har Sam Stone: you know what's a funny name? greg luganis Sam Stone: i bet he got called looseanus a lot in school Sam Stone: you know who loves cock up the ass? me, when i'm watching snl, because it takes my mind off how shitty the show is TNO: HELO SAYM TNO: <3! Sam Stone: < 3 TNO: D: TNO: y? Sam Stone: 3> TNO: ? Sam Stone: ?? TNO: c=3? Sam Stone: ;) TNO: :O TNO: g'night sam Sam Stone: night D: TNO: see you in a few days (I'M STALKING YOUR HOUSE UAHAHAHAHA) Sam Stone: :( TNO: don't worry, I promise not to touch you Sam Stone: :) TNO: but the goat is mine Sam Stone: :( TNO: I'll teach him some new tricks for you Sam Stone: :) TNO: but you'll have to pay him to perform Sam Stone: :( TNO: fortunately, he's cheaper than a pakistani whore Kae: you guys scare me Sam Stone: GOOD NIGHT AND PLEASANT DREAMS OF GERIATRIC WOMEN EATING YOUR YOUNGER SISTER'S POOP !!!!!! wener: if you get a chick to stick her finger up your ass while she's blowing you HOLY SHIT WAT: I need some pop, beer is getting gross right now. wener: you'll have the best orgasm of your life sd T A G I: w t f HOLY SHIT WAT: wener, i doubt if you bring that up, you have not experienced it? *** MykBot simply has no comment wener: that, or you'll shit the bed HOLY SHIT WAT: I do NOT enjoy anal sex. HOLY SHIT WAT: period. Sam Stone: I usually stick my own finger in my butt (hell let's be honest, usually my whole fist)...and I eliminate the girl/blowjob part sd T A G I: . MykBot: ... shut your suc: uh *** wener believes this shut your suc: holy fuck that is funny HOLY SHIT WAT: sam, with his outstanding entrances. Sam Stone: :( shut your suc: summergeek thing :) MykBot: heh sd T A G I: he lurks waiting to chime in with shit like that Dear Koga, Please pick a fucking time with Ten Sack already so I knew when I need to show up to this little gay-ass tourney. Get it in gear already, bitchbutter. Love, Sammy Isildur: heh rr, the only reason berkeley and ucsd are close is because there are people at/near ucsd that i already "kinda know" rr: : cool rr: : wait Isildur: you and ln go there....and myk is goin someplace nearby right? rr: : is that me? Sam Stone: it's so cute when isil implies he has friends Monk: next week on SNL is gonna be really fuckin sucky... Creed and billy bob thornton Isildur: what'd she say anyways monk? Isildur: ouch, monk Sam Stone: billy bob rules, he gave halle berry a shitload of cock in Monster Ball Myk: just tell her you think she's a cool chick and you'd like to talk some "over a pizza" Myk: or "over a sundae" Myk: or "over my fat cock" Myk: whatever -Mikes dating service. Myrk: all y'all bitches is my bitches TNO: :( blad: tno TNO: blad Sam Stone: it was funny when the onion did it, two months ago, now shut the fuck up myrk you prick, you're not funny, you never have been, and no one will ever think you are even if you steal jokes from people that are legitimately funny you ugly fucking nerd shut in PRICK!! TNO: :) Sam Stone: hi (_|_)c==3 (_|_c==3 (_|c==3 (_o==3 (_o=3 (_o3) (_3_) (_o_) (_|_) ( :) ) ***Sam Stone takes out a power drill ***Sam Stone drills Erasmus a love hole ***Sam Stone eats him out Erasmus: AHH Erasmus: ewwww ***Sam Stone puts the drill away Erasmus: won't tbc be mad? Sam Stone: nah Sam Stone: I already gave her one ***Terzol [Iggy Mounter] pulls out his own love drill and uses it on Sammy* --> Myk watches Sam and Bale debate Blockbuster policy and giggles like a little girl with her first dildo, or something -1 - sshlt : sam has a penis cavity full of wonders *LonE: sam..all the cheerleaders? Sam Stone: are sluts with cunts ten sizes too big for most dicks? Sam Stone: when i went to Manitoba Canada....I got ass jacked by 14 guys at once, and i stuck my balls in this one guys face, and when i pulled back, all he said was "that was AWESOME" Susie and a thin man found me in the park. I was walking slowly round the pond, making the bones in my nose tickle by hooting. Susie said my mother had tipped her off, after hearing my voice while throwing stones at the ducks. I had been there a day and a I like to shit in my pants also then some little kid decided it would be funny to catch mark the bumble bee and cut off his wings...so he did so he bumbles around all day, looking for gay bees to fuck in teh ass then mark the bumble bee got pissed off and stung the little kid in the nads then died without any wings tragic, isnt it ? TNO: I guess the only women I like are late teens to mid twenties, without kids :( Sam Stone: mmm, kids Sam Stone: oops I mean Myk: My splooge can also play sweeeeeeeeeeeet mp3s and is easier to cleanup than the steaming load apple is about to deposit on dormroom desks nationwide Nate: buns buns buns Sam Stone: heh six year olds can get erections nowadays Sam Stone: weird stuff Nate: z a n y wod-bruce lee: how did you find that out sam? Sam Stone: dunno Sam Stone: I inferred it Nate: ;) Picard Gives : dr crusher i have a raging hardon that needs to be taken care of Sam Stone: "k next word is... uh... baramacier" "k isn't that one of those things you put on your dick tip to suck all the poo off it???" "uh" "uh" "uh" "mike, go get us beers :(" LOL @ SELF Sam Stone: anal agony Toasticles : sweetness sam stone: it's gonna be cool when the pats win by 20 tomorrow sam stone: and when my ex calls me and tells me that she wants to have anal sex, and then my manager calls me and tells me I'm getting a $30/hour raise, and my guidance counsellor calls and tells me I've been excused from classes for the rest of the year since I'm such a cool guy sam stone: blockbuster has these little employee district contests every week sam stone: this week's contest was to pick the winner and combined score... and you get one PAID day off sam stone: guess who picked the pats, with a combined score of 39... CLOSEST ONE IN THE DISTRICT BABY --> sam stone thrusts Myk: fuck the: I hope you die. Sam Stone: dude lesbo is 2x the tits and twat, without the giant sloppy man cock Sam Stone: hey mike Sam Stone: since it's christmas and you and I have been buddies for a long time now Sam Stone: how about some closeup digicam pics of your sister's pink bits eh dude? for old time's sake, heh heh Myk: On the night of your death, when you're staring at the tallish guy staring at you with a seething, cold hate, and a glistening revolver aimed at your forehead, know that that man is me :( Sam Stone: wee! THE SWEET LAST CARESS OF EUTHENASIA Sam Stone: hot showers feel good, like jacking off without the clea-... uh rr you aren't into lesbos??? hello ARE YOU A MAN Sam Stone: I ate a blue candy cane earlier and when one of my friends later asked why my tongue was all blue, she seemed a bit unimpressed when I told her I gave a smurf head Sam Stone: I blowdry my pubic afro Sam Stone: I FELL INTO YESTERDAY Sam Stone: I ejaculate chlorophyll, gives her twat that pretty green tint Sam Stone: I just take a dump while I'm opening presents, gives me my privacy so that I can have a few beers, fondle the christmas tree, then pass out on the living room carpet in a pool of wrapping paper, piss, and shit sam stone: i swear to god i'd eat jennifer connelly out even if she had just had her period yesterday, taken a piss five minutes ago and then dildoed herself with llama shit Sam Stone: I thought a secret santa was like, everyone would stand around blindfolded and nude, and bend over... and they'd take turns taking off their blindfolds, wrapping their cocks in missletoe and buttfucking each other... and people would have to guess who was the person plundering them anally Sam Stone: it'd be cool to die while you were 69ing Sam Stone: but then the prostitute would steal your clothes and money probably sam stone: likewise, a female sustains an erection by taking off her panties and simply scaring the living fuck out of you cause GIRLS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE COCKS, WHY DIDN'T SHE WARN ME AHEAD OF TIME Sam Stone: my dad went to church... I asked if he wanted me to go shoot the smack with Christ with him and he said no, that was ok, I should stay home and keep an eye on mom (lol) Sam Stone: snuff is so awesome, I think I'd let one of them bend me over so that the whole band can come in my ass, and then I'd take an extra-long twisty straw and put it in my pucker and drink out the poo-and-splat cocktail that I so richly deserve Sam Stone: this hot chick in my math class today asked me if I'd proofread her creative writing thing for her, and I was like "yea sure"... I started reading and it was like, fuckin LOTR nerd fanfiction :( I laughed at her, on the inside Sam Stone: this just in: indianapolis are fucking cock-loving man-licking ass-touching faggot fuckpies sam stone: WE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEED THEIR LEGACY INTO MY PANTS heh AND THE FLAMES OF ANAL AND LIGHTNING RISE IN TTHE Lollllll sam stone: brb i have like rogue ass crust in my crack Sam Stone: we used to do the whole CHRISTMAS THING, with family over, go to church, bigass dinner... well that all went downhill when one year at church in the middle of the sermon I pointed at the giant wooden crucified jesus against the back wall and blurted out "Hey, I know that fella"... and then when we all went home in shame I mistook my aunt's mashed potatos for massage oil and kind of ended up jacking off into the stuffing. it freaked everyone out, except for my aunt and uncle, who still come over every year :( Shaitan: he masturbated in ur house Shaitan: god dude ;( -1 - sshlt : afk whilst i vomit in terror :( Wouldnt doubt it shai! Sam Stone: you know what's cool? getting a boner while you're on the can, and you suddenly have to piss REALLY bad, but you can't get the boner down so you've got like all this piss welling up in your cock while you're squeezing out a tiny stream of lail poops from your clenched sphincter and your ass is going AHHHH and your dick is goin WEEEEEARRRGHHHHHH and then all at once your boner flops and the poops drop and everything's back to normal and you're doubled over heaving from the effort and your mom walks by and figures you're in there jacking off again... little does she know how close she was to the real truth Myk: Terrapin Tennis!!!! soft jewish p: NATE? Nate: ? soft jewish p: ? soft jewish p: how is the MYTH 3 MAP PACK WOLF AGE. Nate: i dunno, i sseem to be unable to download "myth 3" soft jewish p: oh, you didnt buy "myth 3" soft jewish p: or are you on a "macintosh" Nate: rgr on both soft jewish p: rgr soft jewish p: are you going to "buy it" Nate: if i can get the "demo" downloaded and "running" on my "mac" i "might" but only if i "like it" soft jewish p: why dont you have the "demo" Nate: because all the demos i download are "corrupted" soft jewish p: want to "download" it from "bloos hl"? Nate: maybe i will "later" soft jewish p: he has a fast "connection" you will dl around 50k per sec "want to"? Nate: sounds like i will try doing that "later" soft jewish p: it seems to me(sounds like) you dont want myth 3(the wolf age)((bad game)) do you?(huh) Nate: i want to at least give it a "try" soft jewish p: have you tried the "pc" version Nate: no, my pc's "video card" is "ancient" soft jewish p: i see soft jewish p: do you have an "ipod" Nate: no, i got a nomad "jukebox" at a fat price though soft jewish p: i do they are "amazing" in fact the most "useful" piece of "gadgetry" ive "ever" "owned" soft jewish p: "cool" "huh" "?" Nate: i "agree" Nate: "it" "is" "cool" soft jewish p: ":(" Nate: ":(" Nate: unfortuNATEly, i must now go "afk" soft jewish p: quotes are hard :( Nate: "afk" Nate: :( soft jewish p: ok "cya" nate soft jewish p: "l8r" TNO: thrust again, sam :) sam stone: no, you'll grip me sam stone: btw it's headlines like these that get my weiner pumping: "02/01/02: STOPPING FAULK MORE DAUNTING THAN EVER" they must have meant kevin faulk v00: legolas is a nice piece of mansteak Zephyr: " I'm taking off my itchy wife beater! My fingers accidently tickle your unsuspecting loin hair! oh fuck i just came " Zephyr: "I'll take a small french fry, and a glass of icewater please" "oh, and in about 20 minutes, expect me to be tearing around the corner in my mini-van ready for my irresponsibly large Frosty Trough." Bale : ... Zephyr: quote from a woman at wendys ;d Zephyr: I'd dry fuck wesley with his uniform on Sam Stone: by 4am I'd already downloaded porn, jacked my dingle, shot a load all over my stomach, and rolled over onto it and fallen asleep, only to wake up seven hours later welded to my bedsheet `asini: I don't see how he does it Bale : Kalifornia <---- Exhibit A in my case for Brad Pitt being the most versatile actor right now Bale : 12 Monkeys is Exhibit B Sam Stone: you say that every day bale, you have a hardon for him! A HARDON!!! A ROCK-HARD SLOPPY SLOBBERING HARDON! --> Sam Stone likes his old people quiet, occupied, and hidden from the public eye --> Sam Stone mounted dggy-style by mike Myk: woah, there's like, some new myth site (again) Myk: what the hell is going on :( Sam Stone: dunno but it kinda hurts a little :( *LonE: hold on blaed Blade LN's : holding Myk: k I am thrusting now --> Sam Stone screaming in agony, bleeding hi guys :): :( Myk: oops :( Odin SF!!: what is this bullshit Sam Stone: hi Myk: MAD GAY SEX AKSHUN!!! --> Sam Stone straps a roller skate to his penis and rolls around in a manly way ***Sam Stone eyes TNO ***Sam Stone grabs his fluffy body ***Sam Stone fiddles with him ***Sam Stone finds his anusobject ***Sam Stone inserts ***Sam Stone fiddles more ***Sam Stone breaks him ***Sam Stone puts him on the shelf with the others The Naughty O: ok, I was afk...wtf just happened? *LonE: tell me..do u guys ever think about what u talk about ? :( Myk: k Myk: I try not to Sam Stone: I usually just talk about what I'm thinking about *LonE: which brings me to my next question Sam Stone: and right now I'm thinking about mike ditka's big midwestern dick --> Myk ph33r *LonE: is sam gay? Sam Stone: is there any doubt? <<< Silver Dragonslayer has joined >>> <<< 8/10/01 8:45:17 PM >>> Silver Dragon: sd, a player as shitty as you seems to carry the stink wherever you go. ci was a mere brown skidmark in your mother's panties before you left, and now ei carries that familiar stench. perhaps there's a common source to this vile odor? <<< sd afk ) has left >>> <<< 8/10/01 8:45:19 PM >>> Myk: later slutcream <<< Silver Dragonslayer has left >>> <<< 8/10/01 8:45:21 PM >>> Sam Stone: k, lol Myk: ... Kighter: umm wtf Myk: rotfl and who was that? Sam Stone: mike's comment gets totally eclipsed .: that was sd <<< has joined >>> <<< 8/10/01 8:45:46 PM >>> <<< is now known as sd afk ) >>> sd afk ): cute? Bale : who is that? she can't sing =( Sam Stone: oh I muted it, I'm just watching her shake that ass BABY Bale : my god, what an awful voice Bale : this is painfull =( Sam Stone: I bet it'd sound better coming the general region of my COCK Sam Stone: IF YA KNOW WHADDAH MEAN Bale : WINK WINK, NUDGE NUDGE Sam Stone: SLAP & TICKLE Bale: well, I'd like to able to talk to my real friends without sam IMing "HI BALE HI HI HI HI I LIKE COCK HEH HEH HEH" Gog™ Minty F: you see sam.. Gog™ Minty F: when a man loves a woman Gog™ Minty F: but she doesn't return the love.. Gog™ Minty F: he has to polish the bishop Gog™ Minty F: he flogs the dolphin Gog™ Minty F: he plays with his erector set Gog™ Minty F: does the 5-finger shuffle HATE RAMS FAG: how about a picture of your twat jenny, and if you're embarassed, just download one from a porn site and upload that... eliminate the middleman HATE RAMS FAG: you know you're a horndog when you start trying to act suave to impress an internet chick (hi mike!!!) HI HI WIL U PLAI WIT MIE I KIX UR TRO IM FUL OV GLE HAHAHA N KIK KIK KIK MB KIK U IN UR DIK DEN U SCREM N RUN AWAI NOW HOO WNTZ 2 PLAI PLAI PLAI? Sam Stone: Jenna Bush's Federally Protected Wetlands Now Open For Public Drilling TNO: I'm bored TNO: read me a story, daddy Sam Stone: ok son, this is a story about two gangrapists named Sam and Stone. the catch is they only gangrape little boys - little boys like you, son. And they get to the boys at night, when eeeeveryone's asleep. so you're not safe, son, no matter how much your mother and I love you. night! TNO: that's a nice story, daddy Sam Stone: shut up and fall asleep you little prick or I'll get the belt TNO: BAD TOUCH, DADDY, BAD TOUCH MurderOne WP: do you paint on the walls? MurderOne WP: little naked women? MurderOne WP: and persian guys takin shits? Sam Stone: naked boys, actually Myk [IBS]: well I'm tempted to believe that those who barely grasp the english language when it is their first or only language have a natural inclination toward "dumbfuckness" Myk [IBS]: wow Myk [IBS]: that beanie is just HOT Sam Stone: I'd let him stir my hot chocolate, IF YA KNOW WHADDAH MEAN Myk [IBS]: you know far too many code names for gay sex, you know what? :( Sam Stone: :( Myk: anyway this girl was a pretty serious JESUS LOVER and, therefore, Jesus denied me some great sex Myk: so eff him :( Balefire : I want to date this girl =( --> Myk will kill you Myk: I hate it when you pop fat boners right before you have to stand up and go somewhere or speak or something :( Nate: "rack of dog meat stuffed with nachos and a bernaise of young fillipino boys" Nate: comeback of the year Nate: "failing that i wish you'd shutup" Pain of Mind: I rememeber in my computer graphics class all these gay AZN PrIdE people would listen to the shitty techno dripping goat penis music all day Sam Stone - s: dude if I had a hot sister, it'd be open season on that booty Sam Stone - s: I think I'd like some hard dick, but too much would be sinfully indulgent Sam Stone - s: it'd be awesome if after this faggy little music video they snapped the camera back to miller and jagger and caught jagger leaning over and sucking the demons out of Miller's cock Sam Stone - s: lotr and star wars make your nuts shrink and your cock fall off Sam Stone - s: well with one exception... natalie portman makes your cock swell to epic proportions (EPIC) Sam Stone c: sadly I can picture GWB masturbating while bent over a chair with Jeb Bush dumping a Budweiser long neck into George's brown mouth :( Sam Stone: "DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS??" "shut up cunt, get adam" "WHO IS THIS??" "a guy he knows on the internet, let me talk to that sweet piece of ass" Sam Stone: "IT'S TEEN QUEEN AMIDALA BARING HER LOVELY BOOBS" uh no those are just fucked up pasty pale sunburn tattas THAT DON'T EVEN BELONG TO NAT PORTMAN, WHO ARE YOU FOOLING Sam Stone: afk a min again! gotta fuck the dog up the ass Sam Stone: anyone who's going to see lord of the rings on opening day, I'm giving out full sshl admin accounts to anyone who causes physical harm or emotional torment to anyone who is dressed in some fag-ass LOTR-related costume Sam Stone: bale do you have to pray before or during sex Sam Stone: bale is gonna be all over my ass for the NO d all week.. I'm gonna come on here after prac tomorrow and bale will like jump out of a cake totally nude and covered in fake blood and wearing like clown makeup and he'll scream "HEY SAM HOW YA DOIN!!!" and then he'll squeeze a little fake flower that's pinned through one of his nipples but instead of shooting seltzer out of the flower he'll launch a load all over my face since he's naked but then he'll be all "LOL GOTCHA, IT'S FAKE JIZZ!" and he'll show me a lail tube strapped to the underside of his dong and I'll be all "what the fuck is going on?" cause by tomorrow I won't remember one person on my entire football team Bale : ... Sam Stone: now watch him try to deny it Bale : actually, I'm hard up for Running backs Sam Stone: sick Isildur: when do they stop playing preseason? Monk: those are getting more and more expected time-wise, but more and more outrageously unexpected content-wise Sam Stone: heh, Sam Stone: don't tell me you were expecting me to interject right there monk... VISIONARY :( Monk: but lol fake jizz Sam Stone: battlenet is bending me over a chair and fucking me like a ten year old at an arkansas elks club meeting TNO: just like daddy used to do :( Sam Stone: blade is probably the kind of guy who types into the google search box "hi google i am looking for some websites that might have mp3 copies of the song 'flood' by a band called 'tool' so if you could please return some sites once i press sumbit i'd appreciate it thanks -dan" Blade : shit that's not the write way? Isildur: lol sam Blade : write Blade : :( Sam Stone: btw a fun way to ruin christmas is about midway through christmas dinner, put your silverware down and say "Mom... Dad... you got me a lot of really cool stuff this year. Everything, except for what I really wanted - which was [some friend of your dad's]'s throbbing cock, pulverizing my juicy fruit. Maybe next year?" Sam Stone: can you touch a girl's pusssy according to jesus? if not jesus is a HYPOCRITE cause i bet that he accidentally or otherwise touched mary's pussy when he was being born cause when you are blinded by amnionc fluid and your little arms are flailing about you're bound to slap something and if it's mary's pussy hey, just go with it Sam Stone: can't we just make a bomb the size of the fucking EARTH and cut an america-shaped hole through the middle of it, and just drop the fucking thing all around us? Sam Stone: can't you just picture some little old blind man smiling his toothless grin at you while he shakes uncontrollably from his palsies, and you smile back as you spoon your cum into his little defenseless old-man mouth Sam Stone: do I go hang out tomorrow with a mildly but not very attractive chick who I'm definitely not getting play from... or sit my ass at home and watch football Myk [IBS]: is mildly beat girl going to bring friends? Sam Stone: n Myk [IBS]: ... Myk [IBS]: and you know she won't suck the cock? :( Sam Stone: rgr :( Myk [IBS]: mb like, go to the mall or something just so she can spend some money and mb buy you lunch and then go home to watch football for the remainder of the day :( Sam Stone: donging the giants is like fucking your sister, it feels good while you're doing it but on monday morning you realize it's your sister, and everyone else has already fucked her, and her coach always looks like he's about to take a chainsaw to the throat of his life support-ridden mother Sam Stone: dude I bet roseanne is a fuckin demon in the sack... bitchy, whiny whores can seriously throw down Sam Stone: dude if I named my daughter pooh and on her 14th birthday she got eaten out by her boyfriend, instead of getting angry I could just go around saying "HEY GUYS MY DAUGHTHER'S BOYFRIEND EATS POOH" and everyone will think "he eats poo? fecalphiliac freakass" and she'll break up with him cause everyone will hollar "POO-EATER" at him on the streets... actually he'll probably commit suicide before she can break up with him, and she'll be happy he did, so she never had to hurt his delicate little shit-loving feelings Sam Stone: dude sucking dick may not be fun but it brings in cash! Sam Stone: fucking yooou Sam Stone: is easy cause you're beautiful Sam Stone: going down on a prostitute would rule... it'd be like a biology class... that part where you learn all about the protozoa and fungi Sam Stone: HAHA KEYSHAWN EAT MY FAT MAN DICK Sam Stone: hard dicks put a smile on my face Sam Stone: have you ever felt pussy, Mike? I mean, like, really FELT pussy? Just grabbed a big handful of it and shoved it in your mouth, chomped on its delicious sinews, and then swallowed it all and gone back for more? Have you ever just take a giant mouthful of cunt covered in steak sauce and mushrooms, run your tongue all over it, and then eaten it like a I think I'm confusing vagina with steak Sam Stone: having a vagina would be cool cause you could shove stuff in it Shaitan: lol Sam Stone: you could make a game out of it... a game called "Will This Fit" Sam Stone: heh Bobby Knight is my god Myk [IBS]: "When my time is done. . .I want that they bury me upside down so my critics can kiss my ass" Sam Stone: heh heh, he said bush Sam Stone: heh I was playing this game called psychobabble, where you get a whole bunch of words and have to piece them together to make the funniest sentence... the theme for this one round was "playground time" and among the words available were "pants uprising boy -'s in shaft" someone made "boy's shaft uprising in pants" :( Sam Stone: heh I had an interview there and halfway through the interviewer was like, "Are you drunk? Take this breathalizer test." and I was like "the fuck?" but I did it anyway... but lol, the joke was on me... after he made me blow into the breathalizer thing a few times he laughed and said, "Heh, that trick gets everyone. You just sucked my cock, buddy boy. I put a little plastic shell on it to make it look like a breathalizer, but in reality, that was some big black-angus man beef you just puffed on. Welcome to Trinity." Sam Stone: heh I walked into my room and accidentally started jacking off Sam Stone: it was a complete misunderstanding, my cock and I had a good laugh over it Sam Stone: heh my ex was obsessed with the harry potter books... she was smart too, I never understood it :( maybe it had something to do with the fact that she was only 11 Sam Stone: heh one time when I was at my uncle's I had to milk a cow (he lives on a farm)... I waited till no one was around and I milked the thing right into my face and pretending that it was my uncle ejac'ing on my face... I'll never forget that cool, autumn morning. it was my eighth birthday Sam Stone: heh the other day I was whacking off and suddenly right in the middle of it my cock made a noise like a lawnmower revving up... my erection disappeared as quickly as it had come, pun intended, and started making a whistling noise like a tea kettle Sam Stone: hey, you know how sometimes when you look in your boxers you see skidmarks and completely flip out, but then realize you're just looking at a shadow? yea, I did that just now, but here's the catch -> I was still pissing when I flipped out! so, long story short, my whole bathroom wall is yellow instead of white now. oh and when I saw what I did, I shat myself ANYWAY. Sam Stone: I can see mike living in the woods and jacking off out on his back porch, simply because he could Balefire : he would stumble back into town, crotch bleeding, his penis worn away by excessive mastuerbation Sam Stone: how hard is it to get into the city right now anyway hit... this is like, my dad's one huge grievous concern Sam Stone: I'm taking in his dick in my ass in the backseat when we stop to grab mcdonald's at one of the rest stops while my mom sucks off some old dude three cars over .: ... k .: Parents driving you in then? Sam Stone: I caught myself in the mirror once... I just had to laugh, it was embarassing but at the same time, I think it really strengthened my relationship with myself, my cock, and that little bottle of hand cream Sam Stone: I haven't had a drink in two weeks, I'm EdGY AND IRRITAEBRLG *LonE: eat a dick :( Sam Stone: dick doesn't have high enough alcohol content Sam Stone: I jacked off thinking about Brad Pitt once... man I'd hit that all night Sam Stone: i just took a pee with the bathroom door open and my mom said wow you are hung Sam Stone: I know a chick named Clitoris O'Fuckable Bale "en fue: no you dont Sam Stone: yes I do Bale "en fue: she's not real sam =( Sam Stone: yes she iis Sam Stone: I keep her picture in my porno lockbox, right next to my 8x10 of Dan Savage eating a hotdog Sam Stone: I love trying to find Garbage songs on Aimster, since it's almost borderline techno, I have to sift through "Future Paradise REMIX" and "Retro 50s REMIX" and "Dan's Powerhouse Buttfuck REMIX" Sam Stone: I think it'd be totally hilarious if terry bradshaw was in a head-on car crash and the steering column went through his chest Sam Stone: I think that, if it were a law that you had to carpet your dick, I'd carpet mine with one of those really really soft dark green carpets from the Carpet Master Sam Stone: I think I'd let Peyton Manning and Kurt Warner double team me... Warner could give me the onsides dick while Manning drove for 30 yards down my sideline Sam Stone: I think it'd be totally funny to talk one of your friends into playing Russian Roulette... but secretly load all the chambers in the pistol. Everyone would have a good laugh over it Sam Stone: I think it'd be hilarious if ds' kid was born with three eyes Myk: yeah but he's still married Bale "en fue: Jon Gruden looks like he's perputually constipated Sam Stone: simply cause like, three eyes would fuckin rule Myk: IBS!!! Blade : IBS :( Blade : yes sam, except for the whole being called a freak for the rest of your life thing Myk: I should've sent Bale some IBS goodies Blade : whole thing* Rama: i've got a bunch on ofoto.com Sam Stone: sure people would call you a freak but you could also be like "you're just jealous, TWO-EYES" and then everyone would get real quiet and feel bad Sam Stone: I told my french teacher the other day that I almost shot a load when I saw my average Sam Stone: she laughed and said "yea, me too" luckily she had no clue what i meant Sam Stone: I was once pounding away a filipino chick, but she woke up halfway through and was like, "I don't want your schtuff runnin down my thighs" and threw me off her... well the way I arced backwards through the air, the centrifugal force splashed my entire load all over my face... I don't know how chicks can stand giving blowjobs cause cum tastes NASTY Sam Stone: I would so eat Aimee Mann's pussy Sam Stone: while taking Fiona Apple's cock in my ass Sam Stone: I'd fuck a dog if I didn't think it'd claw at me or bite me or something .: gotta put them to sleep first sam Sam Stone: I'd let her hold a lit cigarette against my nipples while she snapped a belt across the head of my cock Bale (Dbacks : you let everyone do that Sam Sam Stone: minor technicality Sam Stone: I'd let jean reno tool me up and down Sam Stone: if you wanna be a star it's easy to be famous, just pull down your pants and let sammy fuck your anus Sam Stone: is it just me or would hiding between Elmo and Snuggles while they were 69ing be the softest place in the universe Sam Stone: it'd be cool if like, some aspiring serial murder tied up koga and strike in a burlap sack, dropped them in a hole, and lit them on fire Sam Stone: it'd be so cool to jack off into your hotel bed a whole bunch, leave pamphlets about coping with AIDS all over your room, then put out the housekeeping sign on your door. Wonder what the cleaning girl would do Sam Stone: it'd be so cool to poop in a chick's vag and then close it up with masking tape, then open it back up on christmas and feast on what I like to call "christmas dinner" Sam Stone: it'd be cool if the signal for a fair catch was grabbing your crotch and squeezing as hard as possible while screaming "MONTEEEEEEEEZUUUUUUUUUUUUMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" Sam Stone: k see gaping closeup twat-shots are not arousing, they make me feel like a gynocologist. coupled with the fact that Sylvia Saint is not hot, that website is most definitely not heaven Sam Stone: k sounds like teef needs a helpful puppet show to illustrate to him what we mean by "laid off" :( Sam Stone: life would be so much cooler if you could just walk up to a chick and ask her, "Hey, are your pubes the same color as your hair?"... would really eliminate the whole middlemen of "dating" and "seduction" and "date-rape drugs" Sam Stone: lol I saw a spoof on those bale... shirts that say "MAKE 7" on the front and "FUCK YOU" on the back... shirts with "BODYBUILDERS HAVE SMALL DICKS" on them... "CHICKS ARE FOR FAGS"... "BIKERS ARE FUCKING PUSSIES" :( Sam Stone: lying is what I do when my dad asks me why there are cum stains on the ceiling again Sam Stone: matt broederick is so cute, I'd like to hide in the middle of a matthew broederick-feathery pillow 69 position Sam Stone: memories of when your stool was actually solid, and not filled with blood... memories of when you could eat food without using a straw... memories of when you could actually get an erection during masturbation... fond, fond memories Sam Stone: mike she said "Oh god brendan, take me by the hand, lead me into womanhood" so I did! except, on reflection, I realized she didn't mean "take my hand and pin it behind my back while making me shout for help" Sam Stone: Mike, I usually offer a handjob in return for head... but I guess that doesn't work with chicks Sam Stone: Mike, what you should do is, next time you're with a chick, fuck her so silly that she pretty much just passes out into a deep sleep afterwards. Then shit all over your side of the bed, roll her over into it, wipe yourself up and go to sleep on HER side of the bed. About 30 minutes later sit up and scream "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL?" so she wakes up and finds herself naked in a pile of feces... then give her a disgusted look and hose that stupid bitch down Sam Stone: My pants are off, my pink wand is in my hand, and I'm sprinkling my holy water on a picture of TE's head photoshopped onto jessica alba's naked body Sam Stone: no, I was telling wod to tell you that from wod... I am, unfortunately, flagrantly homosexual and I only let hitlow punish fuck me :( Sam Stone: no, I've been too busy playing "Let's see what happens when I rub this little beefy thing"... it's fun, btw Sam Stone: nope it's not true or nope you haven't? and if you have that leads to my real question... have you ever... you know, like... taken a taste... cause if you did it's cool, everyone does it, I'm just wondering Sam Stone: odin if every possibility for your life is panning out that means somewhere, right now, on some planet, you're getting taken up the ass by some huge hairy dude while you suck on another guy's penis, and you're enjoying it. You sure you want to keep discussing this topic? Sam Stone: oh hey btw, never use bar soap to jack off, cause that BURNS Sam Stone: OK WELL SO WHAT IF MY DAD SAMPLED THE FORBIDDEN CHOCOLATE A FEW TIMES IT'S NOT LIKE YOU GUYS HAVEN'T ALL WHACKED OFF AT LEAST ONCE WHILE THINKING ABOUT ANOTHER BOY.. EVERYONE DOES IT, IT'S NORMAL AND NATURAL, I DO IT Sam Stone: OKAY I AM NOW GOING TO RUN MY HAND OVER MY PENIS VIGOROUSLY UNTIL I ORGASM AND EJACULATE. Sam Stone: once when I was little I heard the term "beat off" and I smashed my dick with a hammer hoping it'd get me off Sam Stone: one musta gotten aborted like an unwanted black child cause NFL.com only shows him as havin one :( Sam Stone: one of the guys I used to go to school with was there and he is HOT, I'd let him staple my sack to my forehead so that he could rub his tanned cock all over the ridge of flesh that lies beneath Sam Stone: one time I was friends with a guy and we kissed but it was just to see what boys tasted like, we weren't gay, we were just curious and exploring. it was a long time ago Sam Stone: one time I was walking in to school, and we have this hugeass flagpole right in front of the school... well of course every morning I walk up and salute the flag, my patriotic duty. Except the other day I was walking in to school and I looked up to salute the flag and there was this chick sitting up on top of it, dillying herself with the flagpole itself... and I just couldn't resist, I looked up and shouted, "Hey! Did you use a ladder to get up there or what?" but then some guy walked by and asked "Are you talking to the fucking flag dude?" and I looked up and realized it wasn't a girl after all, it was just good ol' Old Glory... the whole dillying part was just a dream. or was it? Sam Stone: Pallor: afh, jamie is putting things in my ass Duckmon: endless circle D: Duckmon: !!! Sam Stone: Pallor: afh, helping jaime sustain an erection Duckmon: !!!!!! Duckmon: jaime = soft? no! Sam Stone: psychic sex would totally rule Sam Stone: sandals with khakis is a relaxed, "I haven't bathed since the 60s when I was still snorting lines off my sister's labia" look Sam Stone: seahawks coach is like a big ol teddy bear.. just wanna fuck him Sam Stone: shitting during sex would be hilarious Sam Stone: so what if I cracked her open wider than a screaming 14 year old girl at an NSync concert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sam Stone: sucking a cock wouldn't be that bad... it's just sweat and stubble and flesh and jizz... individually those all taste ok, I assume combined they'd taste ok Sam Stone: sweet, favre with an int and a fumble... thanks for the reacharound brett you stupid mother fucking buttrag Sam Stone: the way I play fantasy football is I watch the games and fantasize about Kurt Warner running his big stubbly cock down my tight little thr-... ok wait a sec Sam Stone: this is true! but I'm not, which is a stream of piss in the eye of society on my behalf Sam Stone: though there's something really really H O T about a 12 year old girl wearing a Packers jersey that's 3 sizes too big... rawr Sam Stone: yea you guys can go silent if you want, but I know I'm not alone on tha tone Sam Stone: well look, anyhow.. yea i know you already said that... yea ok so anyway bale if you ever, you know, think you want to take a taste... I'm here if you want to talk about it Sam Stone: what rhymes with "alcohol-saturated erosion of the Bill of Rights"? Isildur: sam stone wears tights? Sam Stone: when I'm sitting on the can and I can't force out a loaf, sometimes I think really hard about playing myth and that usually more or less opens the dump valves down below Sam_Stone: I ran my own benchmark test once. one time I went to a preschool and I told two of the little kids there that I had candy. they said "wah me want candy take to candy" so I took them in my car and drove them to my house. I gave them delicious candy, all the colors of the rainbow and all flavors. They ate and ate until they could eat no more, and then fell asleep. I touched them while they slept. They woke up the next day, and I saw on the news that their parents had filed missing persons reports for them, and that I was on the news as a potential kidnapper. It was then that I decided to run my benchmark test. So, I smashed one of the little toddler's faces through my mac monitor, and one through my PC monitor. The one that went through the mac monitor died of lacerations three times faster! but I think that's because the cathode-ray tube went through his eye and punctured his brain. voo:* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * voo:g g voo:a| | \ | | a voo:t| `. | | : t voo:s` | | \| | s voo:e \ | / / \\\ --__ \\ : e voo:x \ \/ _--~~ ~--__| \ | x voo:* \ \_-~ ~-_\ | * voo:g \_ \ _.--------.______\| | g voo:o \ \______// _ ___ _ (_(__> \ | o voo:a \ . C ___) ______ (_(____> | / a voo:s / /\| C_____) | (___> / \ s voo:e | ( _C_____)\______/ // _/ / \ e voo:x | \ |__ \\_________// (__/ | x voo:* | \ \____) `---- --' | * voo:g | \_ ___\ /_ _/ | g voo:o | / | | \ | o voo:a | | / \ \ | a voo:t | / / | | \ |t voo:s | / / \__/\___/ | |s voo:e | / / | | | |e voo:x | | | | | |x voo:* g o a t s e x * g o a t s e x * g o a t e x * Sam Stone: whew saved by the gaping ass Sam Stone: WTF PROSTATE FUCKER NOT AGAIN, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH OF YOU Sam Stone: you don't get laid, you're not fooling anyone Myk [IBS]: bzzt wrong :( Sam Stone: you don't get laid, you're not fooling anyone TNO: lying makes baby jesus cry :( Myk [IBS]: baby jesus is LAUGHING WITH GLEE at the moment TNO: myk... did you sleep with baby jesus? :( Sam Stone: I wonder if baby jesus ever, you know... jacks it Myk [IBS]: y :( TNO: :( Sam Stone: you know what'd be funny, if you got with a chick and like shoved her down on the ground, and every time she tried to get up you would pelvic thrust her as hard as you could so she'd keep goin sprawling until eventually she was like stuffed under a desk or something and you'd be all "Ha haaaa, stupid bitch trapped in the FURNITURE" and you'd wag your dick at her to taunt her and she'd squeal in fear and then get some courage and lash out and take a big fuckin chomp on your cock and you'd be all "What the hell?" and you'd look down and your dick is like GONE.. for the first time ever in your life, you could see the apex of your balls. Then she'd come out and start tonguin' the hole where your dick was and you'd scream cause that shit fuckin stings Sam Stone: you know what'd be hilarious... walk into a hospital, and duck into the bathroom for a second to fluff yourself... then storm into the emergency room and scream "I TOOK TOO MUCH VIAGRA, ERECTION WON'T GO DOWN" and then whip out and show it to everyone for proof... then really really concentrate on picturing barbara walters naked so that you go limp, then point at some random woman in the waiting room and say, "Oops nevermind, looking at THAT made it go down." and then walk calmly out Sam_Stone: heh I slammed down a bunch of dicks last night at a party> Sam_Stone: ended up throwing up a ton of beer and cum, it was nasty... then I passed out in it Sam_Stone: I thought I saw someone snorkeling Sam_Stone: I get off on dry-humping dudes Sam_Stone: I had a harddrive that made a farting noise and screamed "BUUUUUUUUUURNING JEEEEEEEEEEESUS!!!!!" any time I tried to stab it in the chest with a knife.... no wait that was my uncle Sam_Stone: I ride my bike a lot, but I took the seat off it a long time ago Sam_Stone: I think it'd be cool if cocks were like those flintstones push-up ice cream bars... that way when a chick was sucking you off, depending on how big her jaw was, she could either push or yank on your sack and your penis would get bigger or smaller, depending Sam_Stone: I think it'd be cool if cocks were like those flintstones push-up ice cream bars... that way when a chick was sucking you off, depending on how big her jaw was, she could either push or yank on your sack and your penis would get bigger or smaller, depending Myk: k Isildur: or just not suck on all of it :( Sam_Stone: that's cock bigotry... ISIL WHY ARE YOU RACIST AGAINST THE LOWER SHAFT Sam_Stone: I was considering wearing a sperm halloween costume to school yesterday and burying my face in hot chicks' crotches... and if they resisted I'd start shouting "I'M GOING TO DIE HERE WOMAN" Sam_Stone: wrestling could be cool because you could just completely start 69ing the dude and everyone would think you were attempting some elaborate pinning move, when really you were just testing to see if you could fit his whole limp cock in your jaw Sam_Stone: WS which do you prefer, getting just the head sucked or the push-up flintstones pop method? wait nm why am I asking you TNO: jesus I'm bored TNO: mike, put on a puppet show for me --> Myk [IBS] erects a stage and curtain --> Myk [IBS] dangles his dong from above the curtain like a gigantic Imperial Transport --> TNO watches raptly --> Myk [IBS] makes Imperial Troopers exit from the multiple hatchways, in search of Luke Ballwalker rr: you know what the average speed of sperm being ejaculated? --> TNO cheers rr: is --> Myk [IBS] using his other, lesser wang, makes Luke Ballwalker appear from behind the Transport, entering the uppermost hatchway --> TNO gazes at the lesser wang TNO: hairy as a wookie :( --> Myk [IBS] jiggles both wangs as battle ensues, and low and behold, the Ballwalker wang emerges victorious, and the Transport dong falls to the eart, landing on all the Imperial Troopers Myk [IBS]: The End. Myk [IBS]: no rr, what is it? --> TNO applauds! Myk [IBS]: thx u sir!! --> TNO throws flowers on the stage TNO: encore! --> Myk [IBS] blushing Myk [IBS]: noe TNO: rgr :( Myk [IBS]: afk skewl TNO: :( TNO: Sam will you bend over? zeph t@T@ (t@: Carlos! Seeker: dennis? Sam Stone: well sure, why do you need me t-... WAIT A MINUTE Kight: miguel? Sam Stone: YOU FUCKING PERVERT!! --> TNO pulls out a purple vibrator --> Sam Stone screams and begins weeping TNO: what is sam doing behind mike :( v00: WHOA i bet your mom is looking pretty hot right now sam Sam Stone: she is v00: eh? eh? nudge nudge v00: why dont you go ask her if you can taste her fish taco Balefire : none of you guys have done a bet like that? =( Myk: when exactly did sshl take this turn for the *worst* tonight? Vintage Sam Sam Stone: yeah mike it says in the bible "Thou shalt not want of thy neighbor's fat dick in thy butt" zEhFRRraR: my fondest memory as a child was that of the Mall santa pulling me gleefully aside and revealing to me his 14'inch black penis Zephyr: he was like "Is dave Thomas here"?, Me: No he just left, prank guy: "Oh, he told me to leave him a message" me: "k" p: "Im calling dave to inform him that the Clan meeting has been changed to Thursday night because Randy got blood all over his sheets last weekend" Zephyr: heh, I work the front counter at Wendy's. I'm a martyr of all the anger that is summoned when the people making the food are slow, and the customers get mad Monk: at staples we can't do this shit :( "EXCUSE ME SIR? Yes please turn around while i slap my sweaty meaty cock all over your newly acquired keyboard" Zephyr: I havent washed this wendys tshirt in like 3 weeks Sam Stone: odd Sam Stone: wash it in urine, that way people will ignore the stains and concentrate on the pungent, acrid odor instead -1 : sam did you rent raging bull Sam Stone: get your fucking tiny dick out of robert deniro you one-track fucking annoying freak Sam Stone: i mean, no, not yet Myk (kemistri: You just have to remember that when some broad does something that seems completely fucking stupid it's because she's got crazy dust in her hormones or some shit like that and you should buy her some cream to make her vagina smaller or whatever the hell that shit is. I think women are "on their period" like 29 out of 30 days a month or at least that's what they act like when I see them at the K-Mart and I start shouting encouraging comments regarding how to fix their various facial irregularities. They get nuts like when you drop a hubcap into a pen full of werewolves. --> Zephyr lubes his cock with rubber cement and vigorously pounds his cock betwixt TNO's butter basted fun loafs TNO: :D --> TNO grips --> Shaitan vomits Zephyr: SHAITAN VIOLATE MY SUPPLE ASS TNO: use motor oil! TNO: 10W40! <<< Myk (fuk teh kemistri) is now known as Myk (kemistri iz mi bich) >>> Erazor: 2 TNO's :\ --> TNO @ the office Erazor: ahhh ;o --> TNO @ home is afk TNO: look at the ips :( Erazor: how :( TNO: well, first you kneel in front of me and unzip my pants Erazor: done!!! TNO: the iPenis will spring out and nail you in the eye TNO: brb Erazor: YAY!!! owwww, WHEEE --> TNO @ home inside TNO @ work Erazor: time for some idle chatter . . . so Sam . . . Do you like movies with Gladiators? Sam Stone: hi Erazor: :\ Erazor: Sam . . . tell us a story about when you were young and beautiful :\ Sam Stone: hi Erazor: Sam . . . Have you ever been to a Turkish Bath House? Sam Stone: hi Erazor: Sam . . . Do you like it when your dog rubs up against your leg? Sam Stone: hi Erazor: Sam . . . can you guess what movie those lines came from? Sam Stone: whittle my dick Erazor: Really?!?!?! Sam Stone: yea do it Sam Stone: i just fucking dare you you dick whittler Erazor: I actually thought it was a different movie, but, now I stand corrected :\ Erazor: ::takes out Whittling Knife:: Erazor: Are you sure Sam? Sam Stone: yea, whittle me, whittle me you dirty bitch Erazor: lol Sam Stone: you know how i like it Erazor: ::Applies slight pressure with knife, slowly undulating the blade back and forth across Sam's dick:: Sam Stone: oh god i can feel it up inside me... harder.. harder Erazor: ::whittles faster and faster, deeper and deeper, harder and harder:: Trips And Fal: well, put some fucking newspaper down, at least. Sam Stone: :I *LonE 3:16: ... *LonE 3:16: eraz acts like hes done this before :( Erazor: Just like whittling a branch . . . :( Sam Stone: whittle my branch you little fuck, hurt me, HURT ME *LonE 3:16: hey sam--> back to reality, EAT SHIT Sam Stone: yea you fucking whore, poop in my mouth, you know i like it Erazor: ::decides to take out a two midgets, a bullwhip and a rather large elephant:: Erazor: ::looks at Sam, points, and orders the midgets to do their worst:: v00: ): Sam Stone: the goggles, they do nothing Sam Stone: afk 24 Isildur: heh sweet, jennifer love hewitt might be in august playboy Sam Stone: bye! Monk: cya sammy .: bye~ Sam Stone: SWEET, i would fuck her cunt Monk: lol Sam Stone: AFK BED and now jacking off to jlh Kighter: you know what i always say... TNO: any hole will do? Kighter: IF THERES GRASS ON THE INFIELD Kighter: PLAY BALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Myk (fuk teh : what's up with the whole wanting to bang little boys thing Myk (fuk teh : I don't get it sam stone: it's pretty simple mike TNO: boys, it's a disease TNO: men, it's sam TNO: :( sam stone: Got Boys? sam stone: Boys: The other white meat Myk (fuk teh : that's fucking dirty sam stone: Boys: it's what's for dinner TNO: oh god sam stone: The only way to beat a delicious toasted boy... is to cheat. Myk w3rcr: MUSCLE SPASMS WOULD BE TIGHT IF THEY WERE IN YOUR DICK AND IT WAS REALLY JUST AN ERECTION AND YOU GOT TO SPLOOGE AT THE END Myk w3rcr: My cock is looking dashing at the moment. Myrk: see in canada our women's tits produce milk all year long, so when we're thirsty, we just go up to some random chick and suck her jugs Sam Stone: what are these tits you speak of Myrk: they're a part of a female's body Sam Stone: I've started saying to random people "I have nipples, could you milk me?" a lot of times i get weird looks but the people who get it laugh and laugh Myrk: if you weren't so damn gay you'd have looked at them once in your life :( Sam Stone: are you talking about elbows Myrk: we dont have elbows in canada Sam Stone: what is this canada you speak of Myrk: what the hell are elbows nate | pc: beat nate | pc: beat nate | pc: beat Sam Stone: my Sam Stone: meat Sam Stone: meat Sam Stone: meat! nate | pc: fags Sam Stone: that's us nate | pc: ;) Sam Stone: :( nate | pc: :O Sam Stone: nate can i play with your bna now nate | pc: sure Sam Stone: ok nate | pc: i read that in a book "fisting for liberals" that a good lube is hard to find. rr: : limp is making a server? nate | pc: roo rr: : how could limp make a server? that guy can prolly cant make a tuna fish sandwidch Sam Stone: limp couldn't jack himself off if you handed him a porn mag and a bottle of vaseline nate | pc: so i'm sitting here this morning and i hear this yelling outside "ORANGE COUNTY SHERRIFF" nate | pc: i'm like "shit, they FOUND ME!" nate | pc: but the neighbor's alarm had gone off Sam Stone: heh am i the only kid who would jack off to pictures of princess toadstool when he was 8? rr: : your the only kid that i know who jacked off when they were 8 Sam Stone: nod rr: : your a sex machine Sam Stone: still can't hold out for more than a few seconds though Erazor: I lost my virginity when I was 6 !!! rr: : bs Sam Stone: me too, i found it again when i was 11 Sam Stone: actually now that i remember i built houses out of log-shaped shits because my family was too poor for lincoln logs Sam Stone: AI was actually pretty good Sam Stone: i just watched it at my friend's house, she cried, i didn't though (yes i did (just kidding (i hope no one saw me))) Sam Stone: btw, for the record, "undulating erection" returns 4960 results on google Sam Stone: btw, when you're peer editing for your english class, you can really freak out your editing partner with this journal entry heading: "I didn't know I had crabs until i got the memo" Sam Stone: see this is why i don't like our society, where it's socially acceptable to shell out all kinds of money for birth control pills, when you can get a fucking coathanger for $.50 at the local dry cleaner's, wait six months, and then do it yourself for FREE! and as an added bonus you can go into work the next week, proudly crowing that your new diet is working and you lost all that weight you'd been putting on. not only does it throw everyone off the trail, but it makes them all envious of your new-found metabolism Sam Stone: but noooo, wah wah wah i'll cut my uterus, wah wah wah it makes a mess, wah wah wah i don't like puncturing the still soft skull of an underdeveloped fetus Sam Stone: can you get your girlfriend drunk, fuck her retarded, then stuff her into the wood chipper and then save her blood in a jar to use as lubrication the next time you jack off while screaming "I HAVE DONE YOUR BIDDING, LUCIFER" Sam Stone: DDERRICK MASON CAN STIR MY CHOCOALTE Sam Stone: i want to suck his big black tool, TOUCHDOWN Sam Stone: did i tell you that there's a girl in my economics class named archangela? how pretentious do you have to be to name your kid that Sam Stone: fuck you Zephyr: :D v00: ROFL FUCK YOU v00: lolol Zephyr: hop on cock sam Sam Stone: ok Sam Stone: wait whose cock v00: A WHOLE NUDE WORLD Sam Stone: i like explicit buggery Zephyr: they (MY) was UNDERSTOOD Zephyr: THEY Sam Stone: they my k Zephyr: it's the wendy's Sam Stone: MPAA Rating: R (For graphic heroin use and resulting depravity, as well as constant explicit buggery and gobshotting) v00: gobshotting yes Sam Stone: those crazy MPAA Zephyr: when will they ever learn? those rascals Sam Stone: god never grabs my hardon Sam Stone: maybe i need to pray harder TNO: what about the incident last week, sam? Zephyr: actually getting a Sam Stone: that wasn't god Zephyr: 'HJ' from the big man wouldnt too bad Sam Stone: what if he like shoots your sack with lightning or something by accident Sam Stone: wouldn't be all fun and gams then Zephyr: no gams indeed sam Sam Stone: i got gams in my pants --> TNO tugs sam's gams Sam Stone: helpicopters is going to entertain me endlessly, like the flashing light in the garage Sam Stone: hey check it baby, i need to get me so O-JUICE Sam Stone: brb! (be right back) TNO: I think he means OJ Simpson's semen -1 : :( Sam Stone: I believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, creator of Heaven and Earth, of all this is, seen and unseen. Eternally begotten of the Father, Light from Light, true God from true God, gegotten, not made, of one Being with the Lord. Through Him all things were made. For us and for our salvation He came down from heaven: by the power of the Holy Spirit He became incarnate, and was made man. Sam Stone: lol what am i SAYING! Sam Stone: i don't like the rams really but every time marshall faulk is on tv my pulse rate doubles and my shaft rises and i start rubbing myself down with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter Sam Stone: afk Sam Stone: i grabbed my dong like that once and it kinda stretched out like play-doh... i rolled it like a little snake until i realized that it actually WAS play-doh in my hand! i had a good laugh about that one, until i realized it was the home made play-doh my dad made out of my mashed-up cock, when i ripped it off for real three weeks ago Sam Stone: i just had like an abnormally bad fart Sam Stone: i think i blew off an ass cheek Sam Stone: i just pinched my ballsack v00: me too v00: i'm cold though, the boys are shacking up right now Sam Stone: i know a girl who likes having her boyfriend snap a belt across her tits Myk w3rcr: lemme know how it goes Myk w3rcr: kinky Sam Stone: messy Sam Stone: i like my boobies <<< Myrk has left >>> <<< 2/24/02 11:51:13 PM >>> Sam Stone: they are perky Sam Stone: i like getting gang-fucked in the alley behind my house Sam Stone: i like flat girls, makes sucking their tats a fun challenge Sam Stone: i like wet dick Sam Stone: i like pumping my dick on myself Sam Stone: i like to drool on my nips Myk: tight Myk: sweet Myk: I am jesus Myk: 100% Myk: eat it Sam Stone: i lost my anal virginity in rome to a plumber named luigi Sam Stone: i love this "childrens with down's syndrome are a gift of life" commercial... cause it's such a crock Sam Stone: i stripped the skin off my dick Cremepieces: foreskin Sam Stone: i fuck butts for a living and like it Sam Stone: THIS COULD BE MY GREAT AWAKENING Sam Stone: i used to think that girls who cut their hair should be beaten to death... but let me tell you i've met a couple that really disprove that theory Sam Stone: i want to let lance bass drill me up the ass v00: i jacked all of friends stuff i have a hellslayer now v00: btw queen of the damned was a shitty movie :) Sam Stone: does aaliyah flash her t&a Sam Stone: i was watching this weird porn last night... it was one of those weird new-age porns where it's all guys... it was a real piece of art Sam Stone: I'd fuck fran drescher in the mouth just to shut that stupid cunt up sam stone: i'm going to sign you up for man porn and lots of it Erazor: some bastard already did :E sam stone: lol barnyard babes Erazor: I recieved the email I just forwarded you, even though I didn't ask for it :( sam stone: hey i know her Erazor: sweet pic, ehh? sam stone: dude back off that's my fucking sister Erazor: the girl or the horse? Erazor: well, your sister, and I assume your talking about the girl is . . . HOT!!! sam stone: yea she is, i'd hump her if dad didn't say no Erazor: heh Erazor: mb your dad just wants her for himself :( sam stone: no, he's got his hands full with me, if you catch my drift Sam Stone: i'm hot shit too Sam Stone: jk, i'm COLD DIARRHEA! Sam Stone: it'd be hysterical if your jizz was the color of your mood, like a mood ring TNO: heh Sam Stone: I'M PISSED OFF, HERE'S SOME RED CUM! i'm feeling lucky, how does neon green sound :) :) Sam Stone: jackin off outside when it's 40 below would be cool too, your jizz would like freeze in midair and you could walk around town with this big long spike of jizz jutting out of your cock and you could stab people with it and they'd laugh and clap you on the back and everyone would say "Hey! Here comes the Jizz Spike Man!" and they'd wave and applaud you and you'd wave your arms aloft and your jizz spike would bristle with pride. Oh what good times, brethren. What good times. Sam Stone: jessica alba looks anorexic TNO: sam prefers tits that don't show :( Sam Stone: and i could probably fit my entire ballsack into one of her eyes Sam Stone: kight when you and alicia mack it on your honeymoon tell her "Oh god, that wa smy first time... it was magical" and when she says "hello we've done it before you freak" say "oh yea, i forgot... guess those other times weren't too memorable" comedy wedding gold! Kighter: heh Shaitan: :\ oh fuck: 1299 on the worm game, eat it Sam Stone: better yet, i'll tell her... what's her work phone # Sam Stone: lol now i remember why i stopped playing myth "Hey there were lots of women in Myth fallen lords. What about all those wossey healing losers, with meat cleavers that could pass as pizza pans?" rooflies sam STONE: mike you know what'd rule? if you said to her "you know, my last girlfriend had never had sex before, and was scared I might pee in her or something... just so YOU know, it's impossible to pee with an erection. Which is why I brought this" and then spray her down with a piss-filled supersoaker Sam Stone: milk is rape Sam Stone: Monk you should leave your door open just a crack one night... then at like 4 am strip down naked, cover your body in vaseline, and start screeching "MOM!!!! MOM!!!! OH MY GOD HELP ME MOMMY". When she comes rushing in to see what's the matter, let her find you sprawled on your bed with your back arched and an erection. When she asks what's the matter, scratch your lubricated cock thoughtfully, then stand up, give her a greasy hug, and assure her that you were simply having a bad dream, and tell her to go back to bed. Repeat this episode every hour or so all night Sam Stone: MPAA Rating: PG13 (For some mild coarse language, brief explicit buggery, brief cock-robbing, and one scene of graphic pocket-pussy use and its resulting depravity) k i need to rent this movie Sam Stone: MPAA Rating: R (For constant vile language, excessive violence and gore, as well as brief explicit buggery and one extreme comedic closeup of a penis) Zephyr: i want to mouth-pound john glenn whilst orbiting the earth Killer: I wouldn't be happy if my penis was comedic :( Sam Stone: MPAA Rating: R (For vampire violence, and mature thematic elements, including but not limited to satanic worship and having a dead African-American singer in the cast) sounds like Queen of the Damned ruled voo Sam Stone: MPAA Rating: R (For extreme Michael Douglas) Sam Stone: MPAA Rating: R (For explicit drug use and its resulting depravity, some extremely mature thematic elements, brief partial nudity, and one scene of ejaculate being released into an unsuspecting bystander's coffee cup [on Extras Disc #2]) Sam Stone: omg jon stewart next week Sam Stone: I JUST CAME! Sam Stone: shaitan's not gay, he just likes to experiment Sam Stone: the USSR predated the US anyway lone k well maybe not but it's fun confusing you Sam Stone: we don't have a doritos girl here, we have an old guy that looks like christopher walken that says "You may be bold, my friend... but are you DARING?" TNO: hi sam, who don't you SUCKLE MY TESTACLE TNO: why :( Sam Stone: k Sam Stone: yep! good thing i'm majoring in english which has many life applications, provided you're going to be an english teacher or something, which i'm not Sam Stone: you know who i would totally anally rail? mel gibson TNO: he's a homophobe, sam .: he's mean though Sam Stone: i can convert him TNO: remember the prince from braveheart? TNO: the gay one? Sam Stone: by the time i'm done with him he's gonna be skipping down the street in a belly shirt .: you can convert anyone, but he'll be very hard :( TNO: that was all mel showing h8 for gays Sam Stone: i never saw braveheart! heh heh, hit you said hard .: heh heh heh .: clever pun!! TNO: sa,! Sam Stone: cause it's like hard and hard, get it TNO: Sam :( Shaitan: k Shaitan: i'm going to class Shaitan: then writing a paper TNO: NOE Shaitan: :(( Shaitan: bar would be much preferable TNO: STAI 4 HOT GEI CEX AKSHUN Shaitan: ;\ TNO: stai 4 teh <3 u hav 4 mie Shaitan: :o TNO: stay because I have your sister working in a thai whorehouse D: Shaitan: i don't have a sister :) TNO: that's what you think! TNO: If he wanted to say "Im gay- fuck my anus" he'd say it Damn it! TNO: no, I want reg's sisters Shaitan: y TNO: those ladies are HOT Shaitan: we all want reg's sisters :O TNO: I'd let them tickle my prostate anyday Shaitan: :) v00: sometimes i have a third testicle v00: you know what i want in a girl? v00: me Zeffff: afk flogging my dolphin to posters of Winnie from the wonder years Zeffff: i could of made a better movie by smearing pig ejaculate onto a blank film strip --> TNO in monk's ass Monk: nm i do!! Monk: heh i don't leave sshl on anymore either cuz last time i walked away from it and my parents checked they saw "TNO afk in monk's ASS" Sam Stone: mike we can talk about ws' sister instead of you want Myk: k rr: how old ws? Wighty: too young for you :( Myk: how old??? Wighty: 14 I think Myk: lol Sam Stone: "too young" never applies, if she bleeds I'd hit that Myk: "I think" Wighty: just perfect for myk Wighty: well she could be 15, I dunno Sam Stone: lol ws just PMed me "I bet mike is sensitive because his sister has vagina dandruff" dude that is nasty Myk: ... Myk: isn't that really called crabs? :( Wighty: sam, that was supposed to stay a PM :( Sam Stone: :( Sam Stone: no crabs are pubic lice! Myk: btw ws I'm rubbing my sack all over your pillow at trinity for that :( Wighty: :( rr: your sister have tits like this http://www.ratemyrack.com/xracklist.asp?sort=score&start=8&rackId=2082 ? Wighty: note to self: never leave myk alone in my room Myk: dude you're done Myk: you'll never sleep comfortably Sam Stone: ok well now that mike's sister's bush is covered HEH PUN let's move on to the ass Myk: always have to wonder what kind of foul thing happened to your bed and/or pajamas :( Sam Stone: mike: droppy or firm? Myk: rr I have no idea but that's a nice rack Sam Stone: that rack rules Myk: the tatoo needs to go though Sam Stone: Mike if your sister has a rack like that and shaves her fuzz like that give her my number, cause I shave my pubes into a = sign, her strip would fit right in, we'd be pubic soulmates Wighty: fake :( Myk: I swear I will kill you :( Sam Stone: mike how old is your sister again? Myk: 17 Myk: shut up. Sam Stone: no I was just wondering rr: perfect age for sam Sam Stone: what's her bush like? rr: heh Sam Stone: rr follows my train of thought well rr: does she keep it groomed like playboy? Myk: lol god I hope you get drawn and quartered some day :( nate | pc: oooo a MOHAWK? <<< *LonE has left >>> <<< 1/8/02 9:50:00 PM >>> Sam Stone: rude! dude I'm just asking, she's your sister, you must accidentally catch glimpses when she's showering, or on the john, or dilling herself rr: nates a chub chasser Wighty: dilling herself, nice Sam Stone: I need you to rate her on four criteria: 1. density 2. pattern, if shaved or trimmed 3. odor 4. texture nate | pc: LIKE A PICKLE rr: texture? Sam Stone: yea, rough, silky... you get the idea rr: what kind of conditioner she uses? Sam Stone: if applicable Sam Stone: mike must be afk checking rr: good man Myk: and I've often thought, if you had a good friend, why not just marry the dude for the financial advantages with the understanding that divorce comes when once meets a chick worth marrying, and that being married is quite obviously not a "gay" thing Myk: I mean you get a nicer pad and a permanent wingman :( Wighty: obviously v00: how the fuck would you explain that to people Myk: we're married because it makes stuff cheaper, but we're straight, so it's really all a big lie v00: how would you explain ti to a chick Myk: but frankly, our house is much nicer than the apartments these fools want to take you to, and we have a much nicer ride :( rr BUY DRIV F: do you thinking shitting in my neighbors pillow case would be a good way of getting back at her? Wighty: it can't be that bad, I've seen lots of women drink it down in porn movies :o Myk: lollllll Myk: except for like the jail time and stuff, yeah god damn fuck: if you then put the pillowcase over her head and tied it shut, while repeatedly taking a belt across her breasts, yes Sam Stone: btw I jacked off with saltwater earlier, BAD IDEA rr: you better rr: how did u do that? Sam Stone: simple, I spit on my hand and then dumped a bunch of salt into it Myk: I don't even care if that's true or not rr: heh Myk: I'm just gonna imagine you didn't really do it Sam Stone: I did, and I got a giant grain of salt stuck in the well-hole... man ow god damn fuck: ws do you ever jack off and then trick your parents into sniffing your fingers Wighty: no I just go cook supper :( god damn fuck: do you ever sneak cum into the food god damn fuck: i would v00: no you wouldnt Myk: woah woah ws just said something kinda gross :( god damn fuck: i have actually Myk: yeah, you sick bastard, you probably have sam STONE: how do they celebrate christmas in texas... are there like, family rodeos, or do you guys like execute whichever member of the family you like the least... or.. ? :( Lina Inverse: those are all fairly typical.. yeah Sam Stone: I've been told that nothing on earth smells better than a strip club... I can only think of a few things that a strip club could smell like and none of them would be at the top of my nasal pleasure list god damn fuck: try a drink that my sister invented... it's vodka, pepsi, and a half of a pint of cum rr: like. he prolly thinks about this shit all day long rr: i hope you dont have any animals Sam Stone: I have a puppy Sam Stone: his tongue is warm sam stone: during the fourth quarter i sat with a box of tissues next to my chair so i could clean up the mess in case i came in my pants... i did god damn fuck: same way that "TWO HOT LEZZIES GOING AT IT" is an amateur video of two fat hispanic whores with dinnerplate nipples tounging each others' assholes Monk: dii.net has like 0291760976 new posts every time i go there sam stone: putting that 0 in front makes it not many Monk: the 0 would not be a significant digit thus not harming the rest of the number sam stone: unless you count the decimal point you put in there too sam stone: you thought it was small enough that no one would see it, but i did Monk: you're on to me sam stone: time to tip your hand monk, i hold all the cards Monk: ignore the black cars outside your house for a sec sam stone: ok sam stone: they drove away Monk: fucking thieves :\ sam stone: i like black men on me Rohan: see now this is the reason I had to log off when I walk away from the machine Monk: lol sam stone: hi Monk: r do you have family members that would be offended? :*) Rohan: I had to conviince my Bor this is NOT a gay chat room sam stone: his black maid Rohan: Bro Shaitan: lol Monk: lol Monk: is your bro black? :O Rohan: no Rohan: heh sam stone: he'll be whatever you want him to be monk Monk: closing eyes Rohan: quick take his stuff! sam stone: thinking about monk's stuff makes me hot Monk: my stuff is getting hot Monk: r is your bro still there? sam stone: spray it all over me you dirty demon Rohan: he moved out last week Monk: oh FUCK energy is releasing Rohan: prob bc of you guys! sam stone: :( sam stone: what's your bro's number sam stone: i want to give him a licking Monk: roofles Myk: I think the next time I give a girl flowers, instead of acting sweet, I'm going to say "This is a colorful way of saying I want to bang you senseless, if you'll let me." nate | pc: LET IT BE! LET IT BE! LET IT BE! LET IT BE! WHISPER WORDS OF WISDOM! LET IT BE EEEE nate | pc: sing it PAUL! sam stone: it's not whisper words of wisdom you old HACK nate | pc: yes it is sam stone: is not nate | pc: i'm working on it RIGHT NOW! sam stone: my uncle IS PAUL MCCARTNEY! nate | pc: i have paul mccartney here! nate | pc: BULLSHIT! sam stone: no you don't, cause i do sam stone: ask him!! nate | pc: he's MY UNCLE!~ sam stone: wait a minute... dad? nate | pc: son? nate | pc: ? sam stone: dad???? sam stone: ? nate | pc: son? nate | pc: ? sam stone: ? sam stone: it's really you! nate | pc: ! sam stone: just joshing, it's not you, APRIL FOOL'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! nate | pc: ROOOFULLLLLLLLL! sam stone: i'm so happy, and BOY! does it show! Sam Stone: bob I applied to Cornell! Sam Stone: we can be dorm buddies ;) Toasticles : Janitor job? Sam Stone: damn right nigga DreamBob: hi!! Blade : and by cornell sam meant CORNHOLE LOLLLL Sam Stone: HEH! hEH! sam stone: bomb i've been thinking long and hard about our relationship... it's time to start over, turn over a new leaf Zephyr: The guys balls are kind of REMOVED, and the girl has a mangled, cavernous hag-cunt v00: getting DoD 2.0 is like trying to get sam a women sam stone: i'll only ban you now when you say or do something that makes me go "what the hell? that was dumb"... that way instead of being a jerk by just banning you all the time, i'll be a condescending jerk by banning you whenever i deem you to be an idiot, thereby making myself feel like i'm in some way humiliating you and getting more pleasure from it Sam Stone: btw am I a total tool if I talked to this girl and she all but came right out and said that she didn't get me a christmas present, and yet I wrapped her gift up anyway today with all kinds of faggot-ass martha stewart-esque ribbons and bows and shit Myk: yeah, you are :( Sam Stone: k, just checking :( Myk: unless you make an exquisite presentation of that faggotry and it gets you laid, which I doubt if she didn't get you anything in the first place :( Sam Stone: I think the odds of me laying this girl are about as good as the odds of me digging up my great grandmother's disintigrating corpse and laying that Myk: so like 2:1 Sam Stone: hawaiin chicks have smashed noses Sam Stone: at least the one I dated did, after I was done with her Sam Stone: hi nate! sam stone: heh did you really reccommend me, i bet that got shot down like chris rock at a KKK parade sam stone: i bet lone whacks it to pictures of chyna with her airbrushed-out dick Sam Stone: I called my kindergarten teacher "mrs. mustard" because her husband was killed by mustard gas in ww2, then I'd roll up balls of paper and throw them at her and tell them that the war wasn't over sam stone: i covet my own dick Lina Inverse: in what manner? TNO: he wants it to remain? sam stone: you're a girl, you wouldn't understand how traumatic it is for me not to have a weiner like mine Lina Inverse: heh TNO: small and wrinkly? TNO: oops :( nate | pc: :( Sam Stone: I dry-fucked my friend's pillow at a sleepover once Sam Stone: and made her watch sam stone: i hang upside down from my dick at night sam stone: it's like 6 feet long and about the width of dental floss sam stone: I like the new Clorox jingle... "Mama keeps whites white with Clorox!" TAKE THAT YOU NAACP ASS WHORES sam stone: i love the ugly asian bitch, i'd break her arms so she couldn't fight back and then violate her with a brick of llama poo and laugh sam stone: i put my tongue in a girl's ass once Sam Stone: I'd shave mine but I think i'd jam the razor and then walk around for life with a sputtering electric razor hanging out of my pubic nest sam stone: i'm going to major in masturbating by filling my tightie whities with beer mixed with hand cream and vaseline sam stone: I've been playing Hollywood Squares.. not the TV version, the version where i look at pictures of naked celebs and wrap squares of wet cloth around my dick... i guess you could call it fantasy based, too sam stone: i've never had anything living in my ass before nate | pc: dead? -1 : finger? i love imacs : thought u said u had aliens in ur ass i love imacs : or something sam stone: yea but they're all dead i love imacs : o -1 : :( poor aliums sam stone: i clench, it crushed them to death i think sam STONE: if you manage to get a schweino in her twat I'll send you $500 and a delicious fresh ham Myk: lol schweino Myk: whatever schweino is it owns Sam Stone: in my gov't class today we were doing a thing about dress codes, and the dude held up a picture of enrique iglesias shirtless... this chick next to me like glazed over and started moaning like she was having an orgasm Isildur: LOL Sam Stone: which was so weird cause I did the same thing Sam Stone: jacking off with wet paint would rule sam stone: man that url just screams "oh boy, i'm going to get an erection" Sam Stone: Mike if your sister has a rack like that and shaves her fuzz like that give her my number, cause I shave my pubes into a = sign, her strip would fit right in, we'd be pubic soulmates Wighty: fake :( Myk: I swear I will kill you :( sam STONE: mike just be like "hey i heard you were an easy lay, I HEARD IT FROM MY DICK LOL CAUSE I'M THE ONE THAT oh k rr send to me sam stone: my balls are three inches up into my stomach so i don't worry about sitting on them TNO: that's Isildor in disguise! UNCLEAN Bombtrack: sam hasnt dropped yet :( wtf TNO: sam, have your nuts dropped yet? TNO: :( sam stone: yes, it's just cold sam stone: my mom just asked me if i was aiming for a B in english, I told her "I've got a B in my pants, B as in BIG" and walked away... good times Monk: i disbelieve! sam stone: call her and ask Rohan: uhoh sam stone: 1-800-PINK-KITTY sam stone: new zealand is the same as australia! only smaller sam stone: sororities make you fuck boys as hazing sam stone: so do frats, come to think of it Sam Stone: what rhymes with "alcohol-saturated dread" Myk: did I tell you about the dream I had where I died and it felt good? Myk: "jism-soaked bed" Sam Stone: you sure it wasn't some wet dream where you were humping someone else that died Zephyr: did anyone else jack off to the scenes with Wesley Crusher obeying the captains every request? TNO: gee daddy, you know what I'd like for valentine's day? CLEAN NEWS Sam Stone: k next v-day i'll clean it Sam Stone: kight am i invited to the wedding yet??? TNO: could be a late gift, cockbreath Sam Stone: my breath doesn't smell like cocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i use listerine pocket paks Kighter: sure sam come on down Sam Stone: wee Sam Stone: do i need to bring a present Kighter: when you get here ill hand deliver your invite Sam Stone: ok Sam Stone: if i came for real, what would you do Kighter: yes plz, crate/barrel and bedbathandbeyond Kighter: id give you an invite :-) Sam Stone: boos Kighter: and laugh my ass off TNO: sam comes for real all the time :( Sam Stone: :O Sam Stone: would i get to kiss alicia Shaitan: what if sam turned out to be a dirty old man kight :( TNO: sam came last night :( Kighter: not at my wedding he wont Sam Stone: on the chest Sam Stone: loll who here likes fat dicks <<< has joined >>> <<< 6/17/01 9:09:00 AM >>> <<< is now known as A-F-Kae >>> Sam Stone: TEH KETUR ---------------------------------------------------------- From Myk the INCREDIBLY GAY (Jun18 18:47): Myk the INCRE: what's up g sauce Sam Stone: I've got some g sauce all over the front of my undies ---------------------------------------------------------- Liep what: do you like male sex?? Liep what: i do :)~ Mike | @ skew: heh Mike | @ skew: that link is pretty funny monte Mike | @ skew: comp-u-geek one Monte on the : let me check it --> Mike | @ skewl is on a vindictive roll Monte on the : ... Monte on the : my mother in law loved it Monte on the : youre a very sick man Mik Mike | @ skew: rotfllllllllll Monte on the : I mean its kewl if you wanna chekc stuff like that out... Monte on the : but to forward it!!! Mike | @ skew: <3 Monte on the : I heit you :| Mike | homewo: There is a striking difference between this conversation and the enlightenment that occured last night. Mike | homewo: check this out Mike | homewo: www.comp-u-geek.net Toast: hit us Rival afk: oh god Mike | homewo: lol. Toast: youmotherfucker Mike | homewo: rotfl. Toast: I am at work Rival afk: wtf Toast: hehe Sam Stone: I like smearing ketchup all over my dong and pretending I just busted some chick's freshness seal Sam Stone: I LIKE FAT COCKS AND I CANNOT LIE YOU OTHER BROTHERS CAN'T DENY --> Blak Jebuz summons his brothel <<< Myk the Lame is now known as Mary, thee of Purity >>> Blak Jebuz: LOL VIRGIN MARY TURDS Sam Stone: hey, anyone who has a hard dick, join my brown delight <<< Koga MoN has left >>> <<< 6/22/01 5:21:05 PM >>> <<< Myk has left >>> <<< 6/22/01 5:21:08 PM >>> ---------------------------------------------------------- From v00 (Jun23 13:48): am i the only person here to have discovered baiting.org almost 2 years ago? sweet go fuck there already ): ---------------------------------------------------------- Sam Stone: man arwen is a cutie... I'd eat her coot right after she went to pee, wouldn't even make her wash down there ---------------------------------------------------------- From Seeker (Jun24 21:23): The poll results are in: By an overwhelming amount of yes votes, it has been determined that Bale not only sucks, he swallows. ---------------------------------------------------------- <<< has joined >>> <<< 6/27/2001 1:43:29 AM >>> <<< is now known as Serval >>> Myk the Pure: TEH SURVAEL@#^%@$^$^!^$!@$@! Serval: Myk, why must you turn SSHL into a den of lies? Myk the Pure: :( <<< Myk the Pure is now known as Myk the Lame :( >>> v00: got britney in my hand and my gin and sprite *LonE: heh she bought that new house in the cali hills *LonE: first thing i said when i heard about that *LonE: "im gunna fuck her to the equal amount she paid for that shit" <<< has joined >>> <<< 6/28/2001 12:32:38 AM >>> <<< is now known as Olympus >>> *LonE: of course then i realized that she paid 11 mil for it and then later decided it would take a long time <<< Olympus has left >>> <<< 6/28/2001 12:33:10 AM >>> v00: few days at most Blitzkrieg: im not racist i just hate white people Sam Stone: c==:(->-<==3 Sam Stone: genital skewer TNO: in conclusion, I love it 'tween the ass cheeks ---------------------------------------------------------- From Nate MoN (Jul07 19:50): sshl haiku "welcome to hotline" that fuckin' bitch always says do you think she's hot? :( accept or decline the agreement needs to know i never decline :( someone new has joined "HELO!#$!@#$" echoes in the air we're all afk ---------------------------------------------------------- From Nate MoN (Jul07 23:49): More sshl haiku (I'm MAKING THESE UP!) "hi, there...a/s/l?" pms a pedophile eat a bag of hell :( "check out this rad site" "might be a really good game" shit, tainted again :( someone's opinion angry forum posts follow wtf? ---------------------------------------------------------- From Gog mb. (Jul09 18:20): alas poor donald why have you forsaken me? fap fap fap fap fap :( ---------------------------------------------------------- Sam Stone: YESs bsyyES SSISSY oJghHhh GoD In THE WASSS WiTH youR FiNGEutkEEPS HLEPPPp oHhhh GCUMmInG uin YoU NOw my SISTEYR OHHH yEASs moK!M!!!!MMmom SUCKK iT All gFOIyRDTFOU zeph | sleep: I wonder if the semen of Christ tastes different then regular man seed Monk: k, leaving <<< Monk has left >>> <<< 7/12/01 1:26:46 AM >>> Thorman shutu: i wouldnt be able to go to bed right now even if you druged me :( Monk: oh i wouldn't say that :) Thorman shutu: :( Thorman shutu: monk is starting to scare me v00: starting? Nate MoN: sacre? Thorman shutu: for some reason i have a feeling that he is going to knock me out then anally rape me Nate MoN: no Nate MoN: he'll rape first Thorman shutu: :( Nate MoN: :( zeph: lb better upload some pics of SD Hero: lol lb said him and sd fucked Hero: i think hes shitting me, mb ---------------------------------------------------------- From Myk | *Mykbot (Jul17 16:46): Myk | *Mykbot: FOLLOW IT UP YOU FAGS Myk | *Mykbot: -> :( I GO DOWN ON : :( TNO: :( Okko: :( Hannibal : :( I GO DOWN ON : :( Myk | *Mykbot: :( I GO DOWN ON : :( A-F-Kae@work: :( Okko: :( TNO: :( I GO DOWN ON : :( Hannibal : :( You are all my bitches <3 ---------------------------------------------------------- Okko Cacra: i mean all of college freshman year was like, fuck, then study, then fuck then eat, then fuck then play myth then fuck then goto bed then fuck then sleep cock gobblin : okko you're like the protective mother of cacra cock gobblin : careful to make sure no harm comes their way Okko: not really, im like the drunk abusing dad whos tried to sexually assault them many times Slayer *LonE: noone can guess what website im at :( Myk | /w *Myk: www.gaymenfucktightgayass.com/starringlone/picset1/lonegetsdrilled.jpg ??? ---------------------------------------------------------- From Lina Inverse™ (Jul19 23:44): <<< Jesus is now known as TNO >>> someone save us =( ---------------------------------------------------------- Sam Stone: I read a horribly disturbing article in Newsweek on the plane.... about the growing popularity of christian rock/movies/entertainment.... and jesus christ the fuckin BRAINWASHING Sam Stone: they have comics and bible superheroes geared at like, four year olds... what the fuck Sam Stone: I was thinking about how amusing it would be to deploy some freak-ass super-biblical ploy like that... and then slowly over time gain such a cult following so that I can get the fucking mindless masses to do whatever the hell i want them to. kinda like sshl, only mainstream! ---------------------------------------------------------- From rr (Jul21 12:43): please don't make wild accusations when you have no facts. ---------------------------------------------------------- From Lina Inverse™ (Jul21 14:39): reg : need a hug sam? Sam Stone: y --> reg hugs sam Sam Stone: :/ makes you wonder ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (Jul21 17:49): well he hugged me with his fuckin penis sorry but I'm not into that penis-hug bullshit ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (Jul24 13:13): Ska: JESUS POWER, SKA'S iN THE HOUSE NOW :) jesus is love, dudes, jesus is love! fuck satan! down with beelzebub! Sam Stone: huh Mike: huh Ska: oh and I hate black people ---------------------------------------------------------- rr: : rolling rocks are twist off Sam Stone: so's my cock ---------------------------------------------------------- From Bale (Dec10 01:16): rr: even though none of us really know each other we all hang out here every fucking day. were friends. were a big family in some sort of sick and twisted fucking way <3 rr ---------------------------------------------------------- From Monk (Dec10 15:45): I think it's plainly evident that rr totally excluded you from that, Bale. diss :(( <3!! ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (Dec10 16:02): if we're a family can i be the mom ---------------------------------------------------------- From wod`asini (Dec10 19:24): yes you can sam but if you're the the mom whos the dad or are all us citizens of sshl illegitimate children raised by sam stone our single mother? :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Monk (Dec10 23:56): I'm the dad, that way whenever anyone says "WHO'S YO DADDY?!" I can rightfully say "well, me of course" and squash all opposition. Plus I get to fuck Sam for hours. He bakes great oatmeal raisin cookies too, cha-ching. ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (Oct16 20:24): UnGh unGH news CLEANED ---------------------------------------------------------- From DickStick (Oct17 00:23): rocket jesus owns you all :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Myk (Oct17 01:17): Vaginal Vindication is going to dominate your ass like a yeast infection dominates a porn star. ---------------------------------------------------------- From reg (Oct17 16:53): Bombtrack: hey omg i predict that reg is going to say something dumbfounded about me Sam Stone: lol "something dumbfounded about me"... holy moron ---------------------------------------------------------- From TNO (Oct18 22:30): .: golden retrievers are hot by the way :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From TNO (Oct19 20:17): --> Sam Stone straps a roller skate to his penis and rolls around in a manly way this somehow is so fitting ---------------------------------------------------------- From TNO (Oct22 00:38): TNO: mike, there's a movie on IMDB called Large Diet Cock D: !!! Myk: omg :( Bale: I own that movie and have seen it like 20 times Myk =( context is a bitch, ain't it? ---------------------------------------------------------- From Bale (Oct22 00:39): and so are you TNO =( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Myrk (Oct22 00:42): ME AND MYK ARE ONE AND THE SAME SO FUCK OFF BALE Bale: lol, just realized that both Myk and Myrk are here, I thought I was talking to one person =( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Cock Tease ;D (Oct23 17:23): Bombtrack: was jesus a jew then a christan Cock Tease ;D: n Cock Tease ;D: o Bombtrack: FUCK U i miised an i Cock Tease ;D: he was a a jew Bombtrack: :( Bombtrack: but was he catholic Bombtrack: ever! Cock Tease ;D: christianity came after his death Sam Stone: heh Bale (Dbacks : holy shit Bombtrack: dude what a fucking loser Bale (Dbacks : BT you have got to be the stupidist fuck alive Sam Stone: bomb what are the first six letters of christianity you fucking idiot :( Bombtrack: he could of be treated like a god Cock Tease ;D: lol Bombtrack: lol @ that Bombtrack: :) ---------------------------------------------------------- From *LonE v 3.1 (Oct23 19:36): EricBudd(bullseye_1@yahoo.com) on 10/22/2001 THE GREATEST STRATEGY GAMING SERIES EVER I have spent $100 on Myth games in my life (and now $130), and its provided many THOUSANDS of hours of playing time. It's literally the best investment I've ever made. I can't say enough about these games, and Myth III should be no different. the biggest fag ever to play myth..gg bulls :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Willis (Oct23 20:17): Tahn: what the fuck? who the fuck are you to call bulls a fag, lone? Tahn: jesus you stupid dick... bulls is much friggin' cooler than you... you fuckin' pansy-armed queerbait. Tahn: ... so please, return to your position as MVP of the gaysquad, and please don't ever talk again. best in a while <3 tahn ---------------------------------------------------------- From *LonE v 3.1 (Oct24 00:18): Sam Stone: I'd really want to go down on a grossly overweight chick... cause you figure, she has no other redeeming qualities, her pussy must taste like chocolate mint ice cream..... well, you'd be wrong, because once you get down there it's just one big sweaty, pus-laden disgusting mass of sweat, yeast, and EVIL ---------------------------------------------------------- From TNO (Oct25 19:36): Bombtrack lhs: nazis owned except for that whole evil part well-said ---------------------------------------------------------- From -1 (Oct27 05:12): locked on m2 !!! what a tragedy and my last words were "i like jewsy apples" :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Voopuze (Oct28 16:27): [EDIT: Diatribe regarding legalization of recreational drugs deleted] Agree with my rant or think I am a c*nt? ---------------------------------------------------------- From TNO (Oct28 19:04): you're still a cunt :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Rape my motherfucking ass. (Oct28 20:20): Solving the drug problem is very easy. First month: Give drug tests to the entire nation. If illegal drugs show up, put a bullet in the criminal's head. Charge family for the bullet. Second month: Problem solved. ---------------------------------------------------------- From soft jewish penis (Oct29 01:34): Zephyr: I JUST PISIED IN A GATORADE BOTTEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ---------------------------------------------------------- From rr afk school (Oct29 17:54): reg. we need to talk ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (Oct29 18:01): reg. we need to fuck ---------------------------------------------------------- From ig98 (Oct29 18:59): Sam Stone. fucking around with things since 1984 ---------------------------------------------------------- From Isildur (Oct30 16:46): Voodoo[1]: i run the MENU OF THE GAME at like 10 fps Voodoo[1]: the mouse jerks all over the screen like it's getting off to mouse porn or something ---------------------------------------------------------- From TNO (Nov02 19:39): Bale: Dick is rubbing off on me k ---------------------------------------------------------- From Bale (Nov02 19:39): Bale: Dick is rubbing off on me =( Don't mangle my quotes =( ---------------------------------------------------------- From TNO (Nov02 19:40): I missed an emote, fya and die sideways ---------------------------------------------------------- From Bale (Nov02 19:45): TNO: now it's back to running around sticking dicks in holes It's about fucking time!! ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam_Stone (Nov03 13:32): when I hear "sloppy pussy" I envision loose flappy pussy soaked in yeast, blood, and urine mmm __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun15 18:26): unnamed: OMFG unnamed: I WIL HAX YUR IP unnamed: DI Sam Stone: :( Corin: lol *** unnamed haxs Sobo : lol, what a fag <<< unnamed is now known as Koga >>> Sam Stone: ..__________________________________________________________ From MykBot [Lakers mb] (Jun16 11:41): I was just noticing the agreement graphic in great detail, and have concluded that Sam's penis projects outward from just about the middle of his thigh, his balls hanging nearly to his knee. Just found that interesting. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone [penis flappin' fun] (Jun16 18:50): DrunkBob: I admire Bale so much. I mean, it takes a real man to switch orders like pieces of underwear. __________________________________________________________ From Sobo eatz ur bebe tro (Jun16 18:59): Sobo eatz ur : Agents' Idea of a good Time: Putting Peanut Butter on his dick and letting his dog lick it off Sam Stone [pe: Sounds fun! Sam Stone [pe: ... __________________________________________________________ From rr afk (Jun17 03:27): heh doesnt take much to get banned some people need to get a fucking life. mb you guys are bad influences on me? Noc (ChatSlay: Howdy RR Angus: what the rr afk: heh so friendly around here Hey all *** CH (OVERCLOAKED COMPUTAR) Is a big fan of Helena Bonham Carter Angus: how'd Bulls get to be an admin? *** Noc (ChatSlayer) thinks she's cute but... looks too much like a doll or something CH (OVERCLOAK: Heh rr afk: gei sex with rex? CH (OVERCLOAK: no Noc (ChatSlay: Bye __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun17 22:16): v00: As I said, some girls can only talk about hard, stiff, cocks. Not me. I love a nice juicy, soft, cock I can work up to, so to speak. __________________________________________________________ From Hit-Blows. (Jun17 22:18): Sam Stone: Charlie voluntarily rolled to his back. I kissed his bare chest, then moved my lips downwards. I continued kissing until his penis was felt against my cheek. My warm saliva filled my mouth. I slipped back his foreskin. His hard penis moved through my lips. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun18 01:31): Hit-Blows.: I'll be frank with you. For many men, the sex-act is a time of embarrassment, sorrow, and, eventually, devil-worship--because for them, the penis is a geyser of horror, gushing out its unseemly contents, like clockwork, every two minutes--while the surrounding woman is your proverbial national park: vast, empty, mysterious, and visited. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun18 01:33): Hit-Blows.: While many couples use role-playing to add zest to their sex life, I use it to subtract existence from mine. I find that Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, in particular the Gelfling RavenQuest adventure, works best. __________________________________________________________ From Hit-Blows. (Jun18 01:36): Sam Stone: Suppose that SEX is not masturbation. Then lognSEX=0; where n is anything. __________________________________________________________ From Hit-Blows. (Jun18 01:38): *** Sam Stone takes out his 2-inch penis __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun18 01:39): Hit-Blows.: I fucked my little brother once...sort of an experiment, if you will :)~ __________________________________________________________ From Corin (Jun18 01:41): Hit-Blows.: are you stealing my name? hold on, let me get my bro's penis out of my ass __________________________________________________________ From Corin (Jun18 01:43): Hit-Blows.: omg my brother's penis is still in my ass :( __________________________________________________________ From Corin (Jun18 01:45): Sam Stone: Dude, getting laid is for gays __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun18 01:49): Mike: HOW THE FUCK CAN THE YAHOO ID "SexBotMyk2000" be taken?!?!?! __________________________________________________________ From Corin (Jun18 01:57): Hit-Blows.: ... Sam Stone: ... Sam Stone: UGGGHHHHH SHIT MY DICK IS CAUGHT IN MY ZIPPER Sam Stone: ...my jacket zipper, that is __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun18 14:27): Sam Stone: what did you do when your mom asked what you wanted for dinner, Mike? Mike: REACHED BACK LIKE A PIMP AND I SLAPPED THE HO!__________________________________________________________ From Mike (Jun18 15:15): "Sam Stone: OKAY I AM NOW GOING TO RUN MY HAND OVER MY PENIS VIGOROUSLY UNTIL I ORGASM AND EJACULATE." At least we get proper warning. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun18 15:19): Mike gets me quite hard, His penis, I wish to ride And put in my butt. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun18 15:20): Hitlow is my slave I do with him what I will And it gets me off. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun18 15:23): An Ode to Kighter K gets me erect Hard enough to break melons So I do hump him. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun18 15:25): I ejaculate Every time I see Voodoo For he is sexy. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun18 15:26): The Naughty One looks He sees my throbbing man cock And he does suck it. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun18 15:28): Rolling Rock is hot He makes my manloaf quite firm And I work my shaft. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun18 15:31): I tear off my shirt Ashen begins rubbing me And I always cum. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun18 17:15): I grab my own crotch When I think of Abaddon He makes me so wet. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun19 23:25): Mike: I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THE MWC STAFF!!!!!! Sam Stone: !? Hit-Blows.: ... Mike: ... Hit-Blows.: STING IS A VIRGIN Mike: oops Hit-Blows.: !!! __________________________________________________________ From Hit-Blows. (Jun19 23:26): Wighty (ur da: I couldn't even fit my christing toothpick of a cock in Sting's ass, it was so tight. ---------------------------------------------------------- From Lina Inverse™ (May16 22:59): Blade : hi odin - been booted 2x in last 2 days by u :(( <<< Blade has left >>> <<< 5/16/01 10:02:04 PM >>> <<< has joined >>> <<< 5/16/01 10:02:07 PM >>> <<< is now known as Blade >>> Blade : 3 :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone Cacra (May16 23:00): poor fucking oppressed BLADE let's all shed a fucking tear for blADE btw someone get me maya ---------------------------------------------------------- From Blade (May16 23:05): <\3 for lina. <3 for sam. (3 for reg. ---------------------------------------------------------- From Blade (May16 23:08): Christ sam, 3 posts in the last 6 minutes!! DO YOU EVER SLEEP!??! ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone Cacra (May16 23:09): GUESS WHO JUST LOST NEWS PRIVS LOL ---------------------------------------------------------- From Blade (May16 23:10): me? :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Blade (May17 00:00): TNO: lousy blacks TNO: I'd oppress you, but... Racist pig. ---------------------------------------------------------- From Bale (May31 21:27): I felt this fit in with the previous post. Bale: eek, everyone is red =( TNO: DIE BLACKS TNO: :( Bale: thats just wrong Can't we all just get along? =( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Myk the Horny (May18 00:20): St. Joan: what am i wanted for just exacly anyway? St. Joan: hehe Myk the Horny: Myk the Horny: I WANT IN YOUR PANTS!!!! <- St. Joan: well that figures Myk the Horny: Not you Myk the Horny: I don't even know you <<< Honk gtm has left >>> <<< 5/17/01 9:25:19 AM >>> Myk the Horny: god what the hell are you trying to do come on to me? St. Joan: hell no <<< St. Joan has left >>> <<< 5/17/01 9:25:28 AM >>> Myk the Horny: rotfl ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (May18 23:12): ranger: yeah like rr's women, shes dumb ranger: lol oh the irony ---------------------------------------------------------- From Kight (May20 01:30): Loopuze: I know hide being stoned soooo easy ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (May20 14:52): At Nate's request, sshl will no longer have LIMITS, much like Star Trek: No Limits. I hope you all find this satisfactory ---------------------------------------------------------- From rr poor zephyr :( (LOL) (May20 20:46): If u know where i can get half life cd keys then please let me know rr ---------------------------------------------------------- From Monk (May20 20:55): good that you signed that post rr---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (May20 21:50): lol monk -sam ---------------------------------------------------------- From TNO (May21 00:02): Jizz Cookies: saym u want some jizz cookies? Sam Stone: no go away never touch me ---------------------------------------------------------- From el en (May23 21:33): Can someone give me news privs plz? From Sam Stone (May24 19:07): OH NO TRIB IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU EAT SHIT :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sukebe (May26 13:08): .. I wish someone would make it to so I could change my name again.. going around with the word LECHER as your username isn't all that attrative.. I'll get back at you one day Gog --sean --ig98 ---------------------------------------------------------- From Myk the Studious (May26 22:14): Take a word of advice from me. . . Never, ever befriend a girl unless you intend to fuck her silly at some point in the near future. Girls who really are friends suffer profound psychological retardation, and call you so they can cry about not feeling loved :( I hate women but I like tits. Mike ---------------------------------------------------------- From Monk (May26 23:00): You mean when they say "You're a great friend" that's a bad thing? Fuck, my life got so much clearer. :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (May26 23:01): i want to hump the womens ---------------------------------------------------------- From Myk the Studious (May27 02:17): I was talking about girls who really are intentionally your friend, actually. The "you're a great friend" thing is an open invitation to never speak to the bitch again. ---------------------------------------------------------- From Monk (May27 09:30): ehehehehheheeehhehehehe Myk, that last one cracked me up D: --> Monk humps TNO for closure DON'T SPEAK TO ME AND GIMME THIS FRIEND SHIT. ---------------------------------------------------------- From Loopuze *420* 8-p (May29 16:05): Sam Stone: mike you've eaten enough pussy to fill a tuna cannery in your time. ever gotten down there and found a big hunk of twat snot staring back at you? ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (May29 18:53): Sam Stone: I thought you meant ci had 10 idiots Serval: they do sam :( Mike pm 4 t: we do :( Sam Stone: which we do, by the way ---------------------------------------------------------- From TNO (May29 21:39): Sam Stone: POO FOUNTAIN SHALL RISE AGAIN if there's ever a ToA2 I guess ---------------------------------------------------------- From TNO (Jun03 00:05): <<< has joined >>> <<< 6/2/01 10:54:24 PM >>> <<< is now known as Lady Arwen >>> <<< Lady Arwen has left >>> <<< 6/2/01 10:55:28 PM >>> Sam Stone: OH NO IT IS LADY ARWEN !! Sam Stone: or not sd afk: good job Sam Stone: thx sd afk: no Sam Stone: thx sd afk: no Sam Stone: thx sd afk: no Sam Stone: thx sd afk: no Sam Stone: thx sd afk: no Sam Stone: thx sd afk: no Sam Stone: thx sd afk: no sd afk: no Sam Stone: no sd afk: no sd afk: no sd afk: no Sam Stone: :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From SteelClasher[CMG] (Jun03 17:52): Lines that make you wish you got to hear the rest of the conversation: Sam Stone: you want your shit to smell like cologne, you make sacrifices :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Myk the Lame (Jun04 09:11): I think my cock is on fire afk ---------------------------------------------------------- From Lewis Pooze (Jun04 14:00): Jesus Christ: I get REALLY high :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Blade (Jun04 14:37): TNO: let's make fun of sd's small penis :(. --> TNO laughs and points Myk the Lame: rotflmao @ sd's penis --> TNO drums on sd's bitchtits :( TNO: sd needs support :( Myk the Lame: lol couldn't miss with that thing, it's like giving a tic tac toa whale lololol that's what you get for being afk you afk piece of cunt. Dark Star: i'm bored :( Dark Star: wanna excite my life? Sam Stone: y ---------------------------------------------------------- From Lina Inverse™ (Jun04 20:19): Mike: <3 Sam Stone: mike, to answer your question... sure, I'd love to makes you wonder... ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (Jun04 21:29): yes mike and i are fucking you got a problem???? didn't think so ---------------------------------------------------------- From v00 (Jun05 01:56): Mike: if Mei offered to give me head for intellectial insight Mike: I woud fail miserably Mike: however v00: heh <<< Mike has left >>> <<< 6/5/01 1:55:58 AM >>> ---------------------------------------------------------- From God (Jun05 02:15): ::unzips:: ...and behold my 18" wonder, which ye shall put in your mouth and then ye may taste the sweet white nectar of the gods. ---------------------------------------------------------- From Isildur (Jun05 02:31): Mike: Bale if I stick a small replica of the Virgin Mary up my ass and get it stuck and have to go to the ER to have it surgically removed and then it breaks mid-surgery and the doctor recommends I just crap it out and then I do and yell "LOL VIRGIN MARY TURDS" and then eat them do I have any shot of going to heaven? ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (Jun05 15:40): Kighter: i have the distinction of being the largest of the SSHL peeps Sam Stone: no, serv is bigger Kighter: in more ways then one ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (Jun05 15:49): DrunkBob: you assured me i just had candy in my undies Kighter: yeah i do too Kighter: well sometimes ---------------------------------------------------------- From TNO (Jun06 02:02): Myk the Lame: I wanted to give Mei that pic of me and go "LOL bounce on those nuts" :( :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Bale afk@movie (Jun07 00:42): rr : if philly wins this series ill never show my face here again We'll hold you to it too RR =) GO SIXERS ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (Jun08 00:18): cock gobblin : she has a crush on mr. spock Kighter: me too :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Myk (Jun08 20:22): --> Jesus Brand Whores are the bestsellers on both coasts heh. From LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME MYK (Jun09 03:25): Isildur: New Orleans and California are obscure states sd? New Orleans is a state now excellent :)~ ---------------------------------------------------------- From Lina Inverse™ (Jun09 03:57): LOOK WHAT YOU: <<< LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME MYK is now known as soft jewish penis >>> LOOK WHAT YOU: whoops foget i cant change name :( LOOK WHAT YOU: i can dream lb =( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Mike | MWC (Jun09 21:49): Sam Stone: MIKE Sam Stone: MY FECES Sam Stone: EAT Mike | MWC: <3 Sam Stone: <3 <<< phoo has left >>> <<< 6/9/2001 6:49:54 PM >>> well that was fitting. ---------------------------------------------------------- From . (Jun09 21:56): Sam Stone: I had a dream last night that Kight stormed naked into my room and tore the flesh off his face with his bare hands and his bloody skull screamed at me "FREE THE PRISONERS, FREE THE PRISONERS!!!!!" and then he spontaneously disintegrated into a pile of ashes and written in the ashes were the words "find the yellowed stone" and then I woke up and my sheets were wet and WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT I HAD PASSED A KIDNEY STONE IN MY SLEEP. I found the yellowed stone after all! glad I'm back ---------------------------------------------------------- From Bale - MWC thins (Jun10 02:38): jungle pickle: it was just funny to me that I used to play with my penis in front of my family So that everyone else can share in the mental scarring. ---------------------------------------------------------- From *LonE gtm (Jun11 01:58): Sam Stone: my mom is kinda cute, I'd do her ---------------------------------------------------------- From Blade (Jun11 23:38): sd afk: >:| Blade: >:| sd afk: :\ Blade: :/ connected 4ever :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Bale (Sam is my "freind") (Jun12 01:17): cock gobblin : how do I upload? Bale (Sam is : fucking GUEST accounts can upload Demian : fuck wark Demian : ur hopeless Sam Stone: INTO THE UPLOADS FOLDER MAYBE GEE I WONDER MAYBE IN THE UPLOADS FOLDER???? Sam Stone: OR MAYBE "UPLOADS" IS TOO CONFUSING FOR YOU Bale (Sam is : NO SAM THAT IS TOO SIMPLE IT MUST BE SOMEPLACE ELSE Demian : lol cock gobblin : but how do I PUT them there Bale (Sam is : ... cock gobblin : I just drag the icon to the uploads folder? cock gobblin : I seriously have no idea :( Demian : FUCK PRESS THE ARROR THAT HAS THE IS GOING UP Stupidty is contagious =( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Ares™ (Jun12 02:09): Monk, just wait. Since we firmly believe that plugin size is directly proportional to penis size, we will break 153 MB with our next release even if it means hiding multiple 40-MB pr0n movies in the tags :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Blade (Jun12 16:24): Yes it is you fag. p.s. your a fag ---------------------------------------------------------- From Olympus (Jun12 18:17): So Loki is one of the stupidest fuckheads lb has ever seen cause he thinks good of his team and calls lb names like "cock smoker" Great analysis lb. ---------------------------------------------------------- From Nate MoN (Jun13 15:43): Vintage Sam Sam Stone: yeah mike it says in the bible "Thou shalt not want of thy neighbor's fat dick in thy butt" ---------------------------------------------------------- From zeph t@T@ (t@) (Jun14 04:27): I just read that interview, (The MWA Inside scoop with the guy working on m3) and it's not work the trouble of c/p'ing into your browser window. The format is a bunch of fools that got their question chosen for the interview (how the fuck??!). To spare you, I will provide a recap of the Mythwolfage Interview with Scott Campbell: Rolfy: HI, WILL DWARVES BE ABLE TO RIDE MOTORCYCLES WITH SIDE ARM PLASMA CANNONS EQUIPPED WITH INFINITE AMMO WHEN THEY RUN OUT OF BOTTLES????? Scott Campbell: Uhhm, no? jjotehmnki@aol.com: Will the dwarven engineers be able to build houses and water systems for my army? And also, will I be able to forge my own weapons during the game? Thanks Oh yea I almost forgot, will I be able to enter a string of commands for my unit to procreate and make more units for my army? Scott Campbell: ok, leaving. ---------------------------------------------------------- From Nate MoN (Jun14 11:43): I received this message via ICQ today... "Hi, my girlfriend would like to be fucked while i watch and wank she does not want me to join in except to give her a facial at the end." OK, which one of you guys sent THAT!?!?!? (and is your girlfriend hot?) ---------------------------------------------------------- From Mike | skewl (Jun14 09:09): Rival afk: well, i need to pass these to get into a collage 8( Oh how terrible is this world. ---------------------------------------------------------- From v00 (Jun14 23:58): Gore Maker af: can anyone that is NOT afk remove people from teams? Gore Maker af: (for MWC) <<< has joined >>> <<< 6/14/01 11:55:42 PM >>> <<< is now known as Mike | finals >>> Mike | finals: TEH HELO@#$@#!%@!#$%@!# v00: HERE HE COMES TO SAVE THE DAY (again) ---------------------------------------------------------- From Olympus (Jun15 01:36): sd afk: its huge i dont want to ): v00: mother fuck v00: JUST DO IT sd afk: that means ill have to stay up ??? ---------------------------------------------------------- From Penis Jesus (Jun15 19:16): v00: fucking and sucking and touching v00: its mothers day :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Star Trek is Better than Sex (Nov05 02:04): --> Star Trek is Better than Sex <-- tno forcing his opinions onto others again ): ---------------------------------------------------------- From Willis (Nov06 19:29): Anyone here play (or used to play) paintball? I need a place to buy online low priced, yet good balls. ---------------------------------------------------------- From TNO (Nov06 23:13): so you need good balls, do you? =D ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (Nov08 13:41): ha ha ha ha ha guess what next faggot to post paintball shit in my news is banned!!!!!!! playing paintball is fun TALKING ON THE INTERNET ABOUT HOW MANY PAINTBALLS YOU USE IN A GAME MAKES YOU FUCKING HOMOS ---------------------------------------------------------- From Bombtrack (Nov12 18:36): Bombtrack: TNO who ever came up with the word cock TNO: gather round, children TNO: it was a long time ago TNO: there was a boy Bombtrack: boring Bombtrack: when do we get to the cock part TNO: do you want me to get the belt? Bombtrack: :( TNO: this boy had a giant rooster TNO: and throughout all the realms, there was no larger rooster TNO: and it made the loudest crow of all TNO: so the boy became vain TNO: and he exclaimed, "I have the biggest, most wonderful cock in the world!" TNO: and the people were all jealous TNO: because they wanted the boy's cock TNO: but the boy guarded his cock dilligently TNO: he cared for it TNO: he stroked it TNO: washed it TNO: finally, the people decided TNO: that this story was going nowhere, so they killed the rooster, stuck it in the boy's mouth, and called the boy a cocksucker Bombtrack: :( end of story? TNO: well, as it turns out the boy was a manwhore on the side, so he really did suck penis TNO: so people kept calling him cocksucker TNO: and other people though it was because the boy smoked dick TNO: not because of the rooster TNO: and the name of that boy? TNO: Sam Stone :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From TNO (Nov13 12:51): TNO: Jaek Sex! Isildur: i laugh just thinking about it Isildur: must be awesome to do ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (Nov13 22:35): slathered some peanut butter on my cock so the dog would lick it all off heh ---------------------------------------------------------- From TNO (Nov16 16:25): --> Wighty summons myk <-- Wighty: ... Wighty: :( v00: Mykkkkkkkkkkkk <<< has joined >>> <<< 11/16/01 2:42:03 PM >>> <<< is now known as Myk [IBS] >>> Wighty: :( :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Monk (Nov17 23:15): . sshlt: well I once got to roll my tongue over a midget's penis, well to be precise he wasn't so much a midget as he was 8 years old, but the size kinda troubled me, I think I'd like big stuff that reach my male gspot from behind ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone - sshlt (Nov17 22:24): or maybe it'll fall and hit someone from sshl that I hate... odds are in my favor on that one ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone - sshlt (Nov21 20:54): I once saw a dude eat a shitload of Taco Bell burritos and light a crack pipe with his atomic farts HEH! HEH! ---------------------------------------------------------- From Odin (Nov22 02:14): i thought about saying what loop did but then i thought hmmmm maybe i should say nothing then when koga has his crack pipe and book of matches rdy to go he will try to hit it and cant then he will get angry and cry... then some hobo will steal his crack and gang rape him with his friends and laugh like hobos ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (Nov24 00:53): I am humping my lisa die. ---------------------------------------------------------- From v00 (Nov24 03:02): I was at a party with a bunch of other people I didn't know... at one point, Sam came up to me in all his wife-beater-wearing-glory with a shot glass filled with some unknown goopy stuff, telling me to drink it... drink it... drink it... so I slammed it back and it burned down like orange cough syrup and acetone lit on fire... then next thing i know, i see people dancing, but it was wierd dancing... and i thought i saw this viet whore shuffling around in the back doing the legendary k-step... and then i saw myk salsa dancing on the tables, and sam... sam wanted me to... MAN WRESTLE... but i'm underage i said... it isn't right... i was scared... but he was all smooth and said it's okay, nobody else will know... ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (Dec01 14:26): sd email me oh wait he hasn't been here in months LOL ---------------------------------------------------------- From *LonE (Dec01 15:51): where is sd at? ---------------------------------------------------------- From SteelClasher[CMG] (Dec01 20:56): Ask TNO. ---------------------------------------------------------- From Myrk (Dec01 22:48): Sam Stone: oh shit must be true then, since strike is like a nobel-prize winning pulished scientist Sam Stone: or one of the most moronic brits I've ever met :( either one!!!!!!!!!!! <<< 12/1/01 19:42:15 >>> <<< is now known as Strike >>> Sam Stone: hi strike! Strike: HEY SAM! I take the second choice ---------------------------------------------------------- From Sam Stone (Dec02 15:26): HOW CAN LADY ARWEN MANAGE A HOTLINE SERVER AND HER MORNING SICKNESS AT THE SAME TIME?!?!? THAT WOMAN HAS STAMINA ---------------------------------------------------------- From v00 (Dec02 13:31): Nickname: v00 Name: Star Trek is Better than Sex Account: voo Address: 24.163.119.252 *fap* *fap* *fap* ---------------------------------------------------------- From Lina Inverse (Dec08 23:32): Isildur: actually sam, he'd just take some water and make it into wine and get you drunk, then rape you ^^^ isi, talking about jesus =( ---------------------------------------------------------- From v00 (Dec11 22:37): TNO: mike, your sister's destiny is to bounce on bale's nuts :( ---------------------------------------------------------- From Myk (Aug11 17:41): Sam Stone: jackin off outside when it's 40 below would be cool too, your jizz would like freeze in midair and you could walk around town with this big long spike of jizz jutting out of your cock and you could stab people with it and they'd laugh and clap you on the back and everyone would say "Hey! Here comes the Jizz Spike Man!" and they'd wave and applaud you and you'd wave your arms aloft and your jizz spike would bristle with pride. Oh what good times, brethren. What good times. From Ol' Dirtae (May19 02:12): Sam Stone: Because, uh, it's Aba. Ol' Dirtae: so. Sam Stone: So...it's ABA. Ol' Dirtae: I'm uh.. OD Sam Stone: Do you want me to draw you a fuckin picture? =D Ol' Dirtae: sure Sam Stone: ... Sam Stone: don't think I won't. Sam Stone: :O c==8 __________________________________________________________ From Mike (CEXI) (May14 02:46): Quote of the Day: RR, remarking on his experiences with me at E3- "Mike and I held hands and cried like faggots during the Halo movie." __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (May15 20:48): *** Mike (CEXI) guarantees Bale pops a boner every time Stinger talks to him We love you, Baley! __________________________________________________________ From Mike (CEXI) (May15 20:40): Abaddon, remarking on Balefire's ego: "you got to realize that bale, IRL, probably gets picked on and physically beat by little school girls." ::smacks Bale with chastity belt:: ::giggles:: ::runs away:: __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (May13 00:44): Wighty: and torturing little children gets me off Sam Stone: .... Wighty: that doesn't mean I should do it __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (May20 13:30): Sam Stone: I should scroll up so I can c&p our conversation from last night Mike (CEXI): lol, which one? Mike (CEXI): oh the videos Mike (CEXI): I like the sailor fag one a lot __________________________________________________________ From Wighty (May22 10:54): Fook all this lobbying for silly shit in MWC. If these idiots ran things we'd have silly string in our courts because it's "fun". __________________________________________________________ From Mike [gezuz duz nut luv mi :( (May23 14:17): Well, that's interesting: Wighty: We're now definately "fisting fanatics" as are all my family, friends and work colleagues. Previously i thought fisting was downright dangerous but now i know it's just good old wholesome fun! I'm happy for you, WS. Really ... __________________________________________________________ From Mike (May23 19:28): Monk, and his multiple personalities, commenting on his role within e.i: "I need a strategic challenge in captaining e.i for this years MWC." rotfl I wouldn't let you captain a red radio flyer wagon. __________________________________________________________ From rr goes to work afk (May25 12:02): this is that cp nazi moridin talking about the official mwc forum "And I would be seriously considering banning gm, rr, and odin from the forum. At the very least putting them on "probation" we havent even posted there yet!!!!! __________________________________________________________ From MykBot (Jun02 17:25):*** Gog mb rams a red hot carbon rod up sam's urethra *** Gog mb shoves a rusty, barbed arrow up sam's ass *** Gog mb crams a pile of maggoty dog shit into sam's mouth *** Gog mb punctures both of sam's ear drums and pours molten lead into his aural canal *** Gog mb jams a firehose full of sulfuric acid into sam's nostrils and turns it on full blast *** Gog mb gouges out sam's eyes and releases fire ants into the bloody mess ?!? __________________________________________________________ From Hit-Blows. (Jun03 22:04): I would like all to know that BALEFIRE had 1469 kills and 10538 dmg in a deathmatch game today. He was kind enough to place those stats after his name in place of triumverate[sic]. Lets give him a round of applause! __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun03 00:57): Bale is a (S: nah, I spend too much time looking at myself in the mirror to look stuff up __________________________________________________________ From Milk Man (Jun03 22:59): Bale is a (S: tell them to stop making fun of me!!! __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun04 13:48): Ashen - iz - : should be "Monk CMF" Ashen - iz - : crazy mother fucker __________________________________________________________ From Ashen - iz - GAP (Jun04 13:29): 9coh = ID...minus all the good players (ASHEN, makaveli, wight slayer, jeff the meek) and ID sucked, how the f00k did they get 3? i hope to GOD we play them __________________________________________________________ From rr iz a bitch (Jun06 11:58): So mike im going to do my best to embarrass mcc this week so you have something to write about From MykBot (Jun06 19:13): See if you can get HWED to mutter things about caged weasels and masturbation. . . ... You don't wanna know. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun08 12:40): HAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Ash, you listed "Second round of the Summer BBQ" in your MWC accolades...Jesus, were you hard-pressed for achievements or something? :) That thing didn't even get past the second round... __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun09 18:29): Tahngarth: Don't tell Gog, but I really hate him. More than I hate ANYONE. Even Canadians. __________________________________________________________ From The Naughty One (Jun10 00:33): *** Sam Stone shows Mike his purple-helmeted monster MykBot: omg saym Sam Stone: hy MykBot: itz so pretti Sam Stone: hiz naem iz lari MykBot: r u propozing 2 mi? Sam Stone: u want 2 kis him? Sam Stone: noe MykBot: wtf :( Sam Stone: juz showing u mi monstar Sam Stone: go ahed Sam Stone: giv him a kis MykBot: k Sam Stone: he likez u MykBot: :) Sam Stone: LOL hez foaming at teh mouth MykBot: omg MykBot: datz sik saym Sam Stone: im sori :( MykBot: maek dat sop Sam Stone: letz haev makeup cex? Sam Stone: ok :( MykBot: k Sam Stone: o noe MykBot: rite nowe? Sam Stone: i cant stop it :( MykBot: wut? MykBot: :( __________________________________________________________ ----- From rr (Jun12 18:46): EE 1 Mcc 0 9-0 EE __________________________________________________________ From rr (Jun12 19:27): ee 2 mcc 0 38-16 kiss my sorry 2 trow ass hwed __________________________________________________________ From rr (Jun12 19:48): ee2 mcc 1 50-36 ----- __________________________________________________________ From Hit-Blows. (Jun14 00:54): Ashen: i'm gonna rig sis2 so you luz hi __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun14 18:08): yeah, that MWC forum is really exciting! By Stinger ( - 24.95.203.148) on Tuesday, June 13, 2000 - 04:43 pm: I... don't want to work, I just want to bang on de drum all day... Now if he stopped banging his "drum" and started updating.. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun14 19:12): Happy Penis H: Can't send chat because its too big and will spam other users. Happy Penis H: well no shit, thats the point. __________________________________________________________ From Wighty (ur dadi) (Jun15 02:34): Sam Stone: I spread the cheeks of Hit's lovely ass. I was about to get my fantasy. Myk waved me on as Hit drove himself riding on the top. I bent Hit forward over Myk and slowly penetrated. This is one of the true beauties only a few men learn about full figured lovelies like this. An aerobic ass can't be butt fucked. ... __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone [penis flappin' fun] (Jun16 18:50): DrunkBob: I admire Bale so much. I mean, it takes a real man to switch orders like pieces of underwear. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun18 00:25): Moon, on the flame forum: "well, yeah, it happens, but looking at last years top ten... gtm split to 2 teams, ei and bmf and snap are back. Most teams returned, actually, civil chose not to. Maybe inactivity means they just dont have the skillz anymore?" Yeah, you sure pegged it, Moon. wtg. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun18 01:31): Hit-Blows.: I'll be frank with you. For many men, the sex-act is a time of embarrassment, sorrow, and, eventually, devil-worship--because for them, the penis is a geyser of horror, gushing out its unseemly contents, like clockwork, every two minutes--while the surrounding woman is your proverbial national park: vast, empty, mysterious, and visited. __________________________________________________________ Sam Stone (Jun18 01:39): Hit-Blows.: I fucked my little brother once...sort of an experiment, if you will :)~ _______________________________________________________ From rr afk (Jun18 19:50): EE 2 team tro 1 42-37 take that faggots!!!!! __________________________________________________________ From rr afk (Jun18 20:43):Oh really? tell me more rr afk: u like gei sex moon? Moonshade: an ascii babe... but nonetheless! wow, see the knockers on that mama? Moonshade: only with small boys, rr __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun19 23:25): Mike: I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THE MWC STAFF!!!!!! Sam Stone: !? Hit-Blows.: ... Mike: ... Hit-Blows.: STING IS A VIRGIN Mike: oops Hit-Blows.: !!! __________________________________________________________ From Hit-Blows. (Jun19 21:17): Hit-Blows.: serv, are you a pokemon cat? Serval: heh Serval: is there one? Hit-Blows.: damned if I know Serval: I've seen the bee, and wanna get one of those... Serv collects pokemons. Sweet Almighty Bale help us. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Jun20 13:35): Damn, these match reviews just get better and better! From TWF-GTM: "In game three, Stampede on If I had a Trow, both teams opted to take 20 wolves and reduce the number of combative units. The strategy didn't work for either team." Way to go, Panamon, you dumbfuck. __________________________________________________________ From Rocky Raccoon (Sep01 02:32): gm: snow is sweet to dip your lil yang bag into cause it makes them all tight and small. After that you can look in the mirror and shout "TIGHT LIL YANG BAG" __________________________________________________________ From Monk -fmad- (Sep01 16:09): Monk -fmad-: you have to be interviewed before going there by a mormon bishop sam. :) Sam Stone: uh o Monk -fmad-: or be a mormon, heh tno: by the end of that interview *** Sam Stone bets he could fake it tno: the bishop would be converted to homosexuality Monk -fmad-: LOL!! Sam Stone: "Why NO Your Holiness, I didn't even know I HAD a penis!" __________________________________________________________ From tiger (Sep02 23:22): gm: sehorn is hot. I'd let him take a peek in my red zone. __________________________________________________________ From Pepperoni Penis (Sep02 23:50): <<< has joined >>> <<< 9/2/00 10:52:05 PM >>> <<< is now known as CAMEL COCK >>> *** CAMEL COCK fucks your supple ass <<< CAMEL COCK has left >>> <<< 9/2/00 10:52:09 PM >>> Sam Stone: ... Sam Stone: samHL has hit an all-time low sdsdsdsdsdsds: ... HOLY SHIT WAT: :( __________________________________________________________ From tiger (Sep03 21:38): F R E A K- hyt: SAM GET ON BNET :( Or I kidnap your cat and have my way with it __________________________________________________________ From Carb (Sep03 22:20): I've been a zoophile all of my life. Although I never knew what to call myself until late February of 1999, when I came online and discovered there were others who felt as I did about non-human beings (commonly referred to as animals). __________________________________________________________ From hg D (Sep03 23:28): hg D: 122. After having sheared off the boy's prick and balls, using a red-hot iron he hollows out a cunt in the place formerly occupied by his genitals; the iron makes the hole and cauterizes simultaneously: he fucks the patient's new orifice and strangles him with his hands upon discharging. hg D: ow mah soul Wighty: that'll be enough hg, thx Wighty: :P __________________________________________________________ From CyberBob (Sep04 00:20): v00: who the hell are all of you retards? Scruggler: and lose? CyberBob: OOC!!! I kill me. __________________________________________________________ From CyberBob (Sep04 00:22): Angel: penis? Angel: no :( Time sb.com: P E N I S CyberBob: penis CyberBob: ooc!! Angel: ooc!!! <<< Time sb.com is now known as tiger >>> CyberBob: OOC!!! Noctavis rhl : OOS souleraser: v00 has no souleraser: penis Narcogen: I quite enjoy this OOC goofery. OOC@!!!! WE ARE FUNNY! Coming soon: A list of "RampancyHL words that we invented, like "moob" FUCK YOU THEY ARE NOT WUNDERDICTIONARY WORDS OOC!!! :) __________________________________________________________ From CyberBob (Sep04 00:23): Narcogen: This is your last warning. CyberBob: OOC!!!!!! __________________________________________________________ From tiger (Sep04 02:57): hg D: I have oddly-shaped balls. hg D: Cubes, one might call them. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Sep04 13:41): Retlas (S.T.P: no, what sucks is when you dream your takin a shit and you really are Retlas (S.T.P: that didnt happen to me either Sam Stone: ... Retlas (S.T.P: ;(( Tahngarth: RET SHIT HISSELF! Wighty: what the fuck? Sam Stone: Who dreams about taking a shit anyway? sdsdsdsdsdsds: ret Tahngarth: ret. Retlas (S.T.P: me Sam Stone: heh __________________________________________________________ From Wighty (Sep05 03:42): WTF THIS FORUM ISNT FOR PEOPLE WHO SPEAK FINLAND. - Kap __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Sep05 13:40): gm: alcohol + women = waking up the next day with your undies on your head and a splooge stain on your own chest __________________________________________________________ From tiger (Sep06 02:07): You can't stop the spread. Butcher: okay, so my fellow bungie co-workers are watching stile project videos featuring horses and women... truly, these are the last days. __________________________________________________________ From tiger (Sep06 02:28): Written by Bob GTM Ragtag vs fists - Fists claim to be good at Myth 1. Sorry Fists, this is Myth 2, and you need skill to play it, sorry. Fists wins 2-1 though, because no matter what the skill level of the other Ragtag members is, Balefire is still the all-time worst 'old school' player on bungie.net. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Sep06 19:29): ret (save the: naelot | crmb: rgr naesucks naelot | crmb: ret> crmbt becockring'd : ret can't handle crmbt, naebot :( naelot | crmb: rgr :( naebot is brilliant. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Sep06 19:42): Wighty: heh boot naebot mb? naelot | crmb: Wighty is gay __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Sep06 20:49): Wighty: ( ) )||||||||||) naelot | crmb: Wighty> crmbt H E H __________________________________________________________ From hg D: !!! D (french maid) (Sep07 21:25): tiger: i mean, i was only on a trower order (SALAMI) It'd odd what we brag about. __________________________________________________________ From tiger (Sep07 21:35): Indeed, it is. rr: u cant beat me rr: i cheated the most __________________________________________________________ From CyberLemoor (Sep08 20:03): Butcher: you guys actually find this funny, huh? naelot | crmb: rgr actually Butcher: later v00: lol CyberLemoor: lol naelot | crmb: rgr lol __________________________________________________________ From v00 (Sep09 15:59): mike, do you fucking TYPE THAT IN MY HAND? "whoops fucked up that cut/paste thing again." __________________________________________________________ From v00 (Sep09 15:59): "by hand" - it's spreading __________________________________________________________ From gm (Sep09 21:51): Abaddon Oi! .Desf. (0:54) : (Whispered) last night was odin + gore beat down Abaddon Oi! .Desf. (1:03) : (Whispered) odin + guttermouth, that is Nice yah fucking moron. __________________________________________________________ From HWED (Sep09 22:15): Congratulations to Abaddon of Desf today for his great work versus HofC in NML2. Once again proving to us all that his constant use of "aba rape", "I owned them", and "check my ratios because you can directly correlate the 2 kills i got into the number of inches that form my penis" comments are rightfully founded. When Abaddon was confronted with the subject of todayÕs match versus HofC he was quick to add some witty comments for us all to enjoy: ÒFuck you.Ó ÒFuck that.Ó ÒNot my fucking fault.Ó ÒI like to stand in front of mirrors, spread open my pink gates, and gaze at my dirt hole.Ó GGÕs. __________________________________________________________ From Butcher (Sep09 22:37): CyberLemoor: naebot's back kickass drago: naebot is an admin kickass drago: fear him CyberLemoor: har CyberLemoor: does he boot? =D Butcher: yep naelot | crmb: rgr yep CyberLemoor: lol naelot | crmb: CyberLemoor is gay CyberLemoor: shut up! CyberLemoor: he really boots people? CyberLemoor: just randomly? HOLY SHIT WAT: hahah naebot can boot? Butcher: every two hours or so, he picks someone that hasn't been chatting HOLY SHIT WAT: there goes my porno downloads naelot | crmb: rgr porno HOLY SHIT WAT: heh Butcher: sorry ret :( naelot | crmb: rgr sorry naelot | crmb: crmbt __________________________________________________________ From Rape my ass (Sep10 02:34): naelot | crmb: rgr blonde_hottie_tied_to_scalding_pot_with_ball_gag_and_ferret.mpg __________________________________________________________ From Butcher (Sep10 04:28): rr nml 2 pm : pillow love time wtf? __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Sep11 16:31): Butcher: just watching NML films CyberBob #4¹ : did you see megs awesome souless performence? CyberBob #4¹ : that was the only thing that worked that night :) CyberBob #4¹ : too bad I laged out in the others... Butcher: heh, well, NP were mostly asleep from what I can tell when that happened CyberBob #4¹ : so was I CyberBob #4¹ : and they still lost without me... Butcher: for a team with a high percentage of BNA, you need to work on your cohesion :) CyberBob #4¹ : no we need to get rid of the non BNAs CyberBob #4¹ : and make me bna.. but that is anotehr story Butcher: RHL admin privileges not enough for ya? :) CyberBob #4¹ : I dont have boot privs :P Butcher: damn, I can see you're really itching for that too CyberBob #4¹ : actually I dont want to be a bna CyberBob #4¹ : I would do stupid things... (like taking doown ranked rooms) Butcher: actually, I doubt you would, unless you could hack the server CyberBob #4¹ : I think booting the a person who hosts in a ranked room takes the room down CyberBob #4¹ : for a while at least Butcher: no, it doesn't CyberBob #4¹ : it doesent :((( CyberBob #4¹ : bah I would hae actually tried that! Butcher: gj there lail buddy CyberBob #4¹ : ok I should watch the films and see who we should boot from the team... (well I will not capt at 3am anymore :) CyberBob #4¹ : I acted like a psycho __________________________________________________________ From Koga (Sep11 20:40): My one and only experience at rhl. "You Are Not Allowed to Participate in public chat" ;(( __________________________________________________________ From v00 (Sep12 01:46): Tonight...we sounded a lot like RHL (boos). To sum it up...[snip] [snip] [paste]: Supernova: we are talking science, but you used newton as an example, and I attempted to rebutt. rr back from: ive got laid with wwf on tv Wighty: assuming I'm ten feet tall so that we can discuss whether I'll hit my head on the doorway is quite different than believing I'm ten feet tall Monk: "It's just a gazebo." "I throw a rock at it, does it move?" "No, it's just a gazebo." v00: ws, i don't care :) v00: ^debate that Mike: Last night I was playing ADVANCED D&D with Gilbert and Freddie and I was the narrator and I rolled a +7 affinity for Gilby and made up a story about a tentacle beast that was chasing him. You can't do that with video games like Myth, that's why tabletops are much much better entertainment. __________________________________________________________ From Mike (Sep12 01:47): Note that I had to intentionally make up a G A Y quote at v00's prompting so he could include me in the LamSession (tm) of this evening. __________________________________________________________ From Koga (Sep12 18:25): Serval : it's a sad, sad world, when sex ed comes from sshl mb __________________________________________________________ From Serval (Sep12 21:23): Mike: 'Mike: btw, what the hell do you care if she's a 'goth' <-- Sam Stone: ... Mike: If I find an attractive, cool goth, I'd date her Sam Stone: Because goth's are one step away from being carnies __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Sep15 18:18): Sam Stone: DF sucks Gore Maker: i know Sam Stone: k Wighty: heh gore you're so going down Gore Maker: we lost to MoR on our home map! Sam Stone: suck Sam Stone: ^suck Sam Stone: suck -> DF Sam Stone: DF <- suck Sam Stone: suck v Sam Stone: DF Sam Stone: DF <- suck -> DF Gore Maker: heh, thanx sam Sam Stone: suck -> DF <- suck Mike : suck (suck) <--- suck --> SUCK <--- <--- DF <-- Gore Maker: i get the fucking point! Gore Maker: :) Sam Stone: sucksucksucksucksuck (sucksucksuck) <- suck (<- DF) __________________________________________________________ From rape my ass ) (Sep15 20:38): DF doesn't suck. Slasher says they will get 4th place in NML2. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Sep19 01:42): <<< has joined >>> <<< 9/19/00 1:41:45 AM >>> <<< is now known as gm >>> Mike: WHY THE FUCK IS IT ALWAYS VIBRATING AROUND gm : k <<< gm has left >>> <<< 9/19/00 1:41:56 AM >>> __________________________________________________________ From Serval (Sep20 13:19): "Which I must say seems like more than a farmer would spend on pants unless those pants come equipped with Angelina Jolie inside." -Tony Kornheiser I shop at the wrong store mb __________________________________________________________ From Jedi Val (Sep20 21:53): <<< has joined >>> <<< 9á20á00 9:56:53 PM >>> <<< is now known as gm >>> El Light Boru: I can't decide which is worse gm : sam lies Jedi Val: about what? El Light Boru: goatse.cx or gramma.jpeg gm : penis size Jedi Val: ahh <<< gm has left >>> <<< 9á20á00 9:57:20 PM >>> __________________________________________________________ From TNO (Sep23 01:30): wener: if you get a chick to stick her finger up your ass while she's blowing you wener: you'll have the best orgasm of your life sd T A G I: w t f HOLY SHIT WAT: wener, i doubt if you bring that up, you have not experienced it? *** MykBot simply has no comment wener: that, or you'll shit the bed HOLY SHIT WAT: I do NOT enjoy anal sex. HOLY SHIT WAT: period. Sam Stone: I usually stick my own finger in my butt (hell let's be honest, usually my whole fist)...and I eliminate the girl/blowjob part sd T A G I: . MykBot: ... shut your suc: uh *** wener believes this shut your suc: holy fuck that is funny HOLY SHIT WAT: sam, with his outstanding entrances. Sam Stone: :( shut your suc: summonergeek thing :) MykBot: heh sd T A G I: he lurks waiting to chime in with shit like that ... At least SamHL is back to normal(?) __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Sep23 17:19): LimpBizquik m: how do u br0dczt i furget LimpBizquik m: EYE EM No0b Sam Stone: command-q <<< LimpBizquik mui:gg has left >>> <<< 9/23/00 5:18:50 PM >>> I almost feel guilty. __________________________________________________________ From Sam Stone (Sep23 21:34): Sam Stone: Gunda goes to school with Aba, for those who didn't know Phod: maybe gunda knows how a aba rape feels __________________________________________________________ Abaddon: i have a fetish about sticking polaroid cameras in weird places ----------- ig98 -Zam's J: her hair looks nice when it's wet ----------- ig98 -Pictur: ASHLEY IS A MAN!! ----------- ig98 -Zam's J: Sam, I've got a nice 12 incher.. ----------- MajorGeo [Riv: The day that Math excites me in that way is the day that I casterate myself, eat my own cock, shit it out, and re-eat it ------------ Abaddon: afk for a bit, going to dad for a little of the old In'n'Out ------------ <<< The Naughty One has joined >>> <<< 12/25/97 12:13:53 AM >>> *** Sam Stone takes off his pants *** Sam Stone humps TNO all over <<< The Naughty One has left >>> <<< 12/25/97 12:14:05 AM >>> Terzy [watch: LOL! knocked him off the server Sam Stone: Errm, mb I shouldn't be so violent next time ------------ Hiro ð G4/aDS: I'm with Sam Sam Stone: Hiro, spread your legs and take a deep breath for a sec ------------ iggy: besides, I want to put magnets next to my disks Merkinja7a: ... iggy: its a fetish *** Merkinja7a can only pray ig's personal magnitism won't erase his hard disk iggy: nah, I've got it protected *** iggy put his hard drive on the pill ------------ From Merkinjata (Nov20 19:23): Sam Stone: And some little kid in Arkansas is going to go to bed tonight wondering what n****** could be. Sam Stone: Better clarify. Show your parents and ask them =D ------------ Gogª Minty n: This Game Contains: Animated Blood, Mild Language, Use of Tobacco & Alcohol Gogª Minty n: har Gogª Minty n: welcome to my life ------------ Gogª Minty F: i had bessie for a nickel Milk Man : Bessie cannot be had Gogª Minty F: not anymore she can't ------------ ***Sam Stone eyes TNO ***Sam Stone grabs his fluffy body ***Sam Stone fiddles with him ***Sam Stone finds his anusobject ***Sam Stone inserts ***Sam Stone fiddles more ***Sam Stone breaks him ***Sam Stone puts him on the shelf with the others The Naughty O: ok, I was afk...wtf just happened?! ------------ ***Sam Stone takes out a power drill ***Sam Stone drills Erasmus a love hole ***Sam Stone eats him out Erasmus: AHH ***Erasmus ewwww ***Sam Stone puts the drill away Erasmus: won't tbc be mad? Sam Stone: nah Sam Stone: I already gave her one ------------ Sam Stone: I could take that valium anally if I wanted to Sam Stone: Which I do. Sam Stone: brb ------------ Sam Stone: HI JOYROK *** Sam Stone WAVES *** Joyrok pees his pants *** Sam Stone EATS JOYROK'S PEE Joyrok: Eats? Joyrok: Drinks. Sam Stone: MMM IT TASTES LIKE MY MOM Sam Stone: NO, EATS Joyrok: ... Sam Stone: (STUPID SHIT) Sam Stone: Hmm, my subtle comments are more noticeable in all caps. Joyrok: Sam Stone: (STUPID SHIT) Sam Stone: Yes. *** Sam Stone recalls saying something like that Sam Stone: (STUPID SHIT CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHEN I SAY THINGS...WHAT A FUCKING MORON) Sam Stone: ... ------------ Sam Stone: HEY JOYROK (STUPID FUCKING DUNCE) Sam Stone: YOUR NEWS IS FUNNY (TO A RETARDED FIRST GRADER) Joyrok: HEY SAM (STUPID FUCKFACE) *** Joyrok laughs anyway Sam Stone: SO KEEP (FUCKING YOUR MOM) POSTING, OK (DICKHEAD)? ------------ *** Sam Stone needs to find an empty breadbox to cram, in whole or in part, in his colon Sam Stone: Oops. Dink a.k.a. A: heh. Dink a.k.a. A: you starved? Sam Stone: No, I just need something sharp and pointy in my rectum =( ------------ Isolder: so fuck off. Aba : I have ------------ *** Sam Stone spreads his legs *** Sam Stone unzips *** Sam Stone places his penis on a bloodied cutting board *** Sam Stone takes a photo *** Sam Stone sends it to his mother *** Sam Stone calls her on the phone *** Sam Stone tells her it's not what it looks like *** Sam Stone tells her yes, I'm gay, but that's not why he called *** Sam Stone calls her a fucking bitch when she persues the topic and hangs up Sam Stone: What a fucking whore my mom is. ----------- Sam Stone: Wow, no kidding...the tip itself is 3' around! *** Sam Stone slaps a "USDA Grade" sticker on that sucker ig98: oh god.. Sam Stone: Oh fine, you can have one too *** Sam Stone slaps a Chiquita sticker on ig's penis ------------ From Abaddon (Dec12 13:04): Happy Fuck Day!! Feel free to fuck off, fuck around, fuck someone, get fucked, or fuck up! ------------ Gogª Minty F: gunda is sitting nekkid in front of his computer, covered in hickies *** Gogª Minty Fresh! shivers ------------ From Abaddon (Oct18 17:25): Aba-spam! *** Gog BEATS HIS WIFE *** Gog BEATS HIS WIFE *** Gog BEATS HIS WIFE *** Gog BEATS HIS WIFE *** Gog BEATS HIS WIFE *** Gog BEATS HIS WIFE *** Gog BEATS HIS WIFE Say it ain't so... ------------ Abaddon: Gog, you act like yer 13 ;) Gogª Fiery S: yah, but i get more pussy than you, ab :) ------------ Sam Stone: ABADDON IZ GRENDELFAG Abaddon: I AM GRENDEL'S FAG ------------ Abaddon: nothing i would like more than rub a painted ass in their face. ------------ sz : welp, i'm off like merkins mom's strap-on... ------------ Gogª Minty : nothing like studying algebra while getting assraped ------------ Midnight [Sem: Hey, what's "Traitor's Gate"? There's a review copy waiting for me at the office apparently ------------ Gog: Back in my day I had to walk to school 3 miles in the snow, all uphill both ways ------------ Abaddon: Morningwood rules! ------------ ig98: God created my cock in his image ------------ Gog mb: this one time el and i went out for drinks.. Gog mb: he started fucking the urinal |
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