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Ego of the Week
The Best and Worst of Myth - M. Bison
Like any good sport, Myth is filled with great players, good players, nice players, average players, and a bunch of players that think they're much greater than they actually are. In this installment of Ego of the Week, M. BISON reflects on Myth history and compiles the definitive list of the most overrated Myth II players of all-time.

Most Overrated Myth II Players Ever

J-DittyJ-Ditty kisses his ass goodbye in yet another tournament.
1. J-Ditty - Mr. Ditty has been one of the most outspoken players since he showed up somewhere around NML. He even put his own team on his homemade Best Orders list when his team hasn't won a tournament or even placed that high. I think these stories best sum up J-Ditty. In NML2, we defeated Aesir 2-1 in the regular season but J-Ditty insisted that his team "outplayed" us, which is usually the case when you lose 2-1. Second, after we lost in the playoffs to 9CoH, J-Ditty was waiting patiently outside to "make fun" of us even though his team was already eliminated long ago in the tournament.

That's like the Minnesota Vikings, losing to the New York Giants, laughing at the Giants for losing the Super Bowl. How pathetic would that be? J-Ditty causes a commotion on a regular basis to move attention away from the fact that he is a never-was. Which makes it even sadder that this team pretty much owns evil Inc. these days.



Goddess MeiGoddess Mei says BLUP. We say SLUT.
2. Goddess Mei - Anyone who takes time to write a strategy guide for Warlocks versus Thrall has to be on this list. I won't forget my first encounters with Goddess Mei. It was in ranked where she had to team with her lover LordMoon on Gimble CTF games in order to place second or third. Guttermouth and I owned Goddess Mei and LordMoon about 50 times in a row on Venice LMOTH, a game they whored worse than Rick whored Float LMOTH. Like J-Ditty, Goddess Mei had to do things to turn attention away from her mediocrity...she picked saying "BLUP" about 6,291 times during a game.



AbaddonAbaddon grimaces as he's 'aba raped'.
3. Abaddon - Was there a bigger loudmouth in all of Myth 2? What's worse is this guy actually seemed normal back around the early days of Myth. He and I joked about how Gore and Gunda tried to fix Culloden Hill, a team tournament run by Gunda and Abaddon in which Civil Order defeated The Companions in the finals. It was also the tournament where He Who Eats Dung couldn't figure out a simple 32 team bracket, but that's another story.

Somewhere along the way Abaddon elected himself "best ... player... ever" even though he was on one of the most underperforming teams in Myth history.

To turn attention away from his mediocrity, Abaddon came up with "aba rape" when he beat someone (usually required about twice as many units to do so). Also was one of the founders of the pathetic SF knockoff "POKE".



GundaGunda is lost and confused without Gore Sr. and Abaddon Sr.
4. Gunda - You can refer to Gunda as Gore Jr. or Abaddon Jr... both of these nicknames fit pretty well. Gunda once professed to a bunch of MUI that he used to "own" a bunch of Civil, including guttermouth, Phod, and Visigoth. Lord only knows how poor Visigoth got dragged into this. Gunda managed some redemption when he posted a long drawn out apology on the Myth Townhall but the damage had been done. There might be nothing sadder than lying about your skills in a computer game to people you will never meet.

Gunda hid his mediocrity by getting kicked out of orders, lasting in Men of Rohan for about a week.



MoonshadeMoonshade, a.k.a. His Mistress Lorlieli, Queen of the Pig Faeries (5 Strength, 9 Intelligence, 18/57 Smell).
5. Moonshade - It was difficult to put Mr. Moonshade on the list...is he really overrated? I mean, this guy was never even really rated. I don't think he thought his skills were that great but his pompous forum posts and desperate need for M2SBR gives him a place on the list.

This is the same guy who needed M2SBR so bad that he bragged about winning a Myth match by forfeit. He took down an MWC2K review that everyone praised because he apparently didn't find the humor in it. Lemme clue you in Moonshade-we're talking about a computer game here!



SynapsedSynapsed realizing archers really do suck ass.
6. Synapsed - Does anyone even know where his guy got his ego from? Alliance was a solid team back in the day (even defeating Civil on the worst map ever made, the atrocity known as Cursed Lands). For starters, now that's he's on some dummy team trying to be the next Street Fighters (Monkey Island, for the uneducated), he's been reported to have been "insulted" to have been thought of as Civil, he called Mike and Sam gay, and even said that no-archer strategies don't work on Cracks Flag Rally. As hitlow pointed out, see SF versus NP in MWC2K and Odin/Papascrub versus Ananab Tilps/Phod in Myth Tag Team. That is all.



AshenAshen, after eating Killa Duck and Ronin, forming the Cheating Scum Triumverate (tm Bale 2000).
7. Ashen - Will go down in Myth history as the only cheater in a Myth II free-for-all tournament (to get caught anyway). I used to be on good terms with Ashen, back in the 'ole z0r days (why...why... what was I thinking) but it was his obnoxious orchestrated forfeit in SiS2 (see Moonshade) that begain Ashen's downfall.

He wouldn't extend the match, even though he had previously cancelled it, citing that he "needed to get the tournament over"...yet, the span of time from the quarterfinals to the semi-finals and the finals was about, oh, 2 months or so. But, his claim to fame is needing another player's help in Clash of the Titans to emerge victorious. Oh, and lest we forget about Shogun?



PanamonPanamon in 5 years.
8. Panamon - If you've seen this guy's picture, you may wonder where on Earth he got the ego from. But like J-Ditty and this illustrious crowd before him, perhaps he was substituting M2SBR for real respect.

Here's a great Panamon moment. Civil played ap (basically rabble) in a friendly game of Dead of Winter CTF. Panamon didn't perform too well with his units and felt the need to shout "lag, obviously" to everyone on his team and Civil's team. Civil's response? A sarcastic "obviously..." to which Panamon uttered the now historic phrase: "fuck you, then."

He also took part in the Clad Plaid Gathering video. That alone gives you a sit on this list.



Sideways 8Ol' Dirtae dreams up Sideways 8's next dummy order... Unemployed White Trash (UWT)
9. Sideways 8 - This may be unusual but here's an entire team concept on the most overrated list. Sideways 8 was professed by some of its members that it would become "The next Civil". Now, I don't have a problem with most of its guys...most are pretty harmless.

I do laugh at the fact that Sideways 8 once created a "training" order called Warpath (which I infiltrated for fun), which doesn't seem to have panned out. Also, most of Sideways 8 tried the dummy order route with the Transformers... which after one day in existence hasn't been heard of since. Oh, and by the way... the next "Civil" is second in their bracket to THE CULT.



Bloody SoulsBloody Souls... half guy, half girl, all geek.
10. Bloody Souls - Who is this? A girl? A cover model? A guy? An it?

If you've seen the real Bloody Souls you realize it isn't a she... we've all seen the "Gap Ad" that Bloody Souls presented as a self portrait. However, having seen a picture of the real Bloody Souls, I can understand why this scrawny 80 lb. wanna-be would rather pose as a girl online than look in the mirror and face reality. Bloody Souls, in girl form, chased around Papascrub and Scorpio like a 12-year old with no grass on the field stalking Jordan, Joe, Danny, Jon, and Donnie from New Kids on the Block.

Went so far as to tell others online that "she" was knocked up by a rapist and now was cutting "herself"... That's when Bloody Souls' pathetic Bosom Buddies act nose-dived into a desperate cry for help... "Please be my friend..."



To contrast the horror we've all just been through, it's time to present the list...the list that will stand the test of time...

Best Myth II Players Ever

1. guttermouth - The man, the Myth, the legend... once beat a team of seven players alone on Desert Territories. A master of one versus one, an excellent free-for-all player, and arguably the best player on Civil Order and the Street Fighters. Effective with every unit type. To emphasize his importance even further, Civil lost its only team tournament when playing without guttermouth (NML2).

2. Gore - Mr. 80% himself... The time is now... Though you could debate the extent of his skills, Gore was difficult to beat in one on one or free-for-all situations. Gore had a tendency to let his ego control his decision-making in team games. Without faith in his teammates, Gore often took 70% or greater for himself...and managed to win. But those decisions finally caught up with him and he could no longer give Giamilton 1% and hope to be victorious.

3. My modem is on fire - One of the old school veterans and winner of several TFL tournaments and tied for first in the prestigious Trial by Combat Myth II tournament (arguably the last... and only... pure Myth II FFA tournament). Proof that you don't have to talk trash to be a great Myth player.

4. ruiner - Civil Order's primary captain through inception to Major League Myth 2, ruiner could work magic with a mixed flank and seemed to be a step ahead of everyone else with a dwarf and archers.

5. Ananab Tilps - Another old school veteran who found both TFL and  SB success as both an individual and member of Civil Order. Tied for first in the Myth II FFA Trial by Combat tournament and served a key role as both captain and player in Civil and Street Fighter success.

6. Odin - Hard to dispute Odin's all-around skills. He's won team tournaments, one on one tournaments, two on two tournaments, and placed well in free-for-all tournaments. He even won some WW2 tournaments.

7. Scorpio - Tied for first in Trial by Combat and shared in BMF's success with Modem. Proved his proficiency in one on one (via the ladder), free for all, and team games.

8. Drizzt - Love him or hate him, he won three straight individual tournaments, which makes it hard to argue that he doesn't belong on the list. Nay-sayers might point out that these wins came when most of the best players (the top 5 for instance) had already moved on.

9. hitlow - A clever player with a firm grasp of successful Myth strategy. Once he broke from the chains of Team Carn, hitlow emerged as a key role player and team captain.

10. Myrkridon - Like Drizzt, Myrkridon achieved most of his success late in Myth II but it's still impossible to argue against the victories and the skills.

11. Phod - I've put myself at #11 to avoid accusations of M2SBR. However, I will point out that I have been in more Myth 2 Tournament finals than any other player. Eight team tournament finals (8-0) and six individual tournament finals... (okay, I'm 0-6 there). 14 tournament finals. Hard to argue against that folks! 14!

M. BISON *SF* STREET FIGHTERS ON YAZ AZZ
A-left-Z-Z-right-up-Z: *PSYCHO EGO CRUSHER*

"MBison's post was factual, descriptive, concerned a subject of interest to every MWC player ("on topic"), and without profanity or crudity. The mediocrities out there could respond with "flames," but the message itself was no "flame" nor was it an incitement to anything but to reconsider what "prestige" really amounts to in this game.

-- Poohbear '00